The Anxious Morning
The Anxious Morning
122. A Letter From Your Ex...
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122. A Letter From Your Ex...

Is it really gonna be different this time?
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Yes, I know this is a funny title. What is this edition of The Anxious Morning about? Why, Drew? WHY????

You know that thing where you break up with your partner because no matter how hard you try and no matter how many times you beg, plead, reason, or argue, things are just not working out? You want it work out. You really do, but in the end you have to end the relationship because it’s never going to be what you hoped it would be.

We’ve all been there. It sucks. Reality is super inconvenient and does not care about our feelings.

Now imagine that you work through all the pain and the heartache and make all the adjustments that come along with a breakup. You do the hard work. You’re finally getting over it and moving forward with your life. Excellent! Then one day out of the blue you get a letter from your ex. WTF? What is this all about?

According to the letter, your ex has changed. Lessons have been learned. Growth has happened. They’re better now. They love you. They want you back. You have a three page handwritten letter in your hand designed to convince you that THIS TIME WILL BE DIFFERENT!

You know you should throw away the letter and never think about it ever again. Keep walking. Keep moving forward. Move on. But … reason is sometimes no match for emotion so you send a text and next thing you know the relationship is back in full swing and you are believing that this time it really is different.

Until it’s not.

Two weeks later you’re hurt, frustrated, disappointed, disillusioned, and kicking yourself for ever believing a word of that letter. Now you have to process the breakup again. More emotional heavily lifting now complicated by the fact that you are judging yourself really harshly for falling for the lies again. Raise your hand if you’ve been here before. Many of us have.

Nice story, but what’s the point, Drew?

What else rolls in on you when you think it’s over, dumps a metric ton of words and thoughts on you to convince you that THIS TIME is different and special, then leaves you wondering why you followed along and got fooled AGAIN?

Think about it. I bet you know the answer.

Next time you get a letter from your ex, acknowledge that they are super charming and very convincing. Acknowledge that you are drawn on an emotional level to believe every word and open that dialogue with them again. Allow yourself to be human and feel that natural pull. Recognize the PROCESS.

Then stop. Be still. Allow all those emotions and feelings and desires to be there. Breathe. Make a little space for yourself to operate in. You can do that.

Then take that letter from your ex, with all its marvelously persuasive language … and burn it.

The rest of your day might be kinda tough once you do, but you’ll likely feel stronger, prouder, more capable, and even a bit more confident tomorrow.

Sorry, ex. Not today.


I’m currently reading Love Notes from the Hollow Tree by Jarod K Anderson. It’s the second poetry/prose compilation from this author, and I’m enjoying his thoughts as much in this book as I did in the first. Oh, and I’m reading it with someone very special. You know who you are.

Every Tuesday I’ll let you know what I’m currently reading. I read quite a bit on psychology and philosophy, but really you never know what I’ll have in my Kindle or Audible libraries! If you’re on Goodreads and into books, you can follow/friend me over there. Here’s a link to my “currently reading” shelf. I’d love to see what you’re reading and what you recommend.

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The Anxious Morning
The Anxious Morning
Wake up every morning to a hot cup of anxiety support, empowerment, education, and inspiration in your inbox. The Anxious Morning is written and recorded by Drew Linsalata.