I have experienced both disordered and non-disordered anxiety in my life. If you are reading this, there’s a really good chance that you have too. But if you’re reading this there’s also a good chance that you are currently experiencing disordered anxiety and therefore may have lost touch with what “regular anxiety” feels and looks like. No problem. I got you covered.
Writing as a 100% non-disordered person, when I get anxious here are the things I do. Keep in mind that what I am describing here are examples of things that work well for me NOW, but that often made things worse when the source of my anxiety was ….my anxiety.
Things I Do When I Feel Anxious
I slow my rear end down. I know that if I get to the point where I am feeling my heart racing, or I feel short of breath, or I’m getting that off-balance thing, it means that I am trying to race through my day or the task(s) at hand. Slowing down and getting really deliberate with my actions is really helpful.
I slowly finish what I am doing or what absolutely needs to be done right away, then I take a break. Even for just a few minutes to make some space between me and that anxious state. I just sit, or walk, or whatever. But I step away from my to-do list, and take a few figurative steps back from all the chatter in my head. I can focus on my breath, or maybe enjoy the sun, or listen to a little music. This is a recognition that I can experience stress, but also not be completely overrun by that stress. When I do this, I gain a little perspective and I get back into my day knowing that a little adjustment of expectations or priorities is in order. Maybe I know that I need to have a conversation with someone to resolve a conflict or work things out. Maybe I need to make a little time to brain dump into a journal just to get things back into focus. You know … normal human stuff.
I take a look at what’s going on in my life for the last hour, or couple of days, or longer. You know that thing where I talk about not trying to figure out anxiety and panic? That still applies when you’re afraid of how you feel and the panic itself creates more panic. But in a non-disordered state anxiety can actually be a useful signal. When I am anxious now I do not see an emergency, but that anxious state does signal that something likely needs attention. It’s just not urgent and “attention” does not mean “SAVE ME!”. See the difference? I can address sources of stress and anxiety in my life in a healthy, productive way now because I can see those sources and I am not anxious about being anxious any more.
If I see that I’m getting burned out or overloaded and taking on too many things at once (I am guilty of being in machine mode far too often), then I can decide to take a longer break. Then I can actually do that. I can engage in things that I enjoy just for the sake of enjoyment. I can try new things to see if I enjoy them. I can put projects on hold for a day or a week or whatever without getting trapped in thinking loops about that. I can accept a bit of initial discomfort over taking a break, and let that dissipate so that the break is actually helpful. All of this is possible because I stopped being afraid of myself and therefore made a little room to re-discover what taking a break and finding enjoyment or contentment looks like. This is a lovely by-product of learning how to get better.
I could go on, but neither of us has all day. The list really would be endless but I think this gives a decent look at the foundation of what non-disordered anxiety means for me, and probably for most “normally anxious” folks. These few points illustrate how my focus when anxious is on the external rather than inward on how I feel and treating that feeling as the most important thing.
As a non-disordered person I am most interested in anxiety as a symptom rather than the symptoms of anxiety.
Tomorrow I will talk about the things I do NOT do any more when anxious. They’re just as important, so be on the lookout for that.
Hey it’s Monday and that means that today at 2 PM Eastern I’ll do my “Recovery Monday” livestream on YouTube, Facebook, and Twitter. Come join in!
167. What Does A Non-Disordered Person Do With Anxiety?