Let me get right to the answer here. There is no point of no return wherein you have suffered with anxiety for too long and therefore cannot ever get better. That is not a thing. I swear. It isn’t.
The community surrounding my podcast and books is full of people that have struggled with anxiety in various forms for many many years, yet still wind up on the road to recovery. I wrestled with my anxiety disorders and depression on and off for over 25 years, and you won’t find anyone more recovered than me! Recovery happens all the time, every day, to people that have struggled with anxiety for almost no time, and for decades.
Still, this remains a concern for many, especially the older members of the community. This is understandable. It seems logical that the longer one suffers, the more “ingrained” the suffering becomes and therefore harder to end, right? If you’ve struggled for years because you’ve climbed out of the anxiety hole several times only to fall back in, you might be expected to conclude that you’ve missed your chance and that its just too late for you. However way you’ve reached the conclusion that you may have suffered for too long to get better, you would be wrong.
I can’t go into all the mechanics of recovery in a short email newsletter, but I can tell you that “suffering time” is not a determining factor in recovery. It can certainly be a determining factor in the way you judge your ability to recover, but it does not play a role in your actual ability to move forward with lasting results.
Why is this? Because in the end recovery is based on recognizing reactions, changing them, practicing, and learning new lessons to replace old habits. While our language might be full of silly sayings about old dogs, new tricks, and the spots on a leopard, silly sayings do not always accurately reflect reality.
Your brain is amazing. It remains amazing throughout your whole life. It never stops being amazing. When given the right combination of good information, helpful direction, encouragement, and inspiration, your brain is quite capable of doing all the required recovery things.
I see it every day in people of all ages that leave old ways - and disordered anxiety - behind without ever looking back.
If you’re worried that you’ve suffered for too long to get better, take heart. You still have everything you need to make change and go down the path to full recovery. But the first step in that will be trusting me when I say this, and allowing yourself to try, even when you don’t believe it will work.
That’s another odd thing about recovery. We often don’t believe in it until after we’re already doing it. So forget the clock and the calendar. Today is not yesterday and this year is not 10 years ago. Look forward, and give your amazing brain some credit. It’ll get the job done for you if you give it a chance.
Tomorrow we’ll take an eye-opening look at exactly what must change in recovery.
Every Tuesday I’ll let you know what I’m currently reading. I read quite a bit on psychology and philosophy, but really you never know what I’ll have in my Kindle or Audible libraries! If you’re on Goodreads and into books, you can follow/friend me over there. Here’s a link to my “currently reading” shelf. I’d love to see what you’re reading and what you recommend.
I am trying to read for fun again lately. Right now I’m reading “The Langauge Of Thorns” by Leigh Bardugo. It’s a series of short stories that read a bit like fables. I’m really enjoying it, and even reading along with a friend for extra enjoyment!
17. Long Term Suffering. Is There A Point Of No Return?