This is so me....I think I'm trying to protect myself by being hypervigilant towards everyone's moods, looks, words...etc. Trying to make things smooth and perfect so I don't have deal with being overwhelmed....I have to be on alert....to protect.......I want to be loved and liked.....
Agreed!!!! This is so me with my older daughter. She just has been diagnosed with anorexia and yes!!!! I’m there for her every single minute even after the doctors keep telling me that she has to realize what her problem is in order for her to be committed with HER problem.
I overtake her boundaries and everyone else’s at home 🙈
I truly think I want to see her healthy, I love her, but honestly, how much is my attitude helping her or helping my personal anxiety? Where is that fragile line?
I’ve never really thought of myself as an empath. I do however tend to pay attention to others moods and actions. Ready to “fix” whatever is bothering them. I’m a people watcher, haha….I always knew that it was connected to my abusive past. I know it’s because of that past I avoid conflict at all costs because in my history conflict could erupt into something scary and dangerous. I really appreciate hearing this today. I am, along with my health anxiety recovery, working on accepting myself and seeing that I am good enough and I deserve to be happy. I often catch myself before I go down the worry rabbit hole about how other people are reacting to the things around us. I am learning I am only responsible for myself and my actions… something my grown children are quick to point out and I am thankful. Worrying about everyone else and how they’re feeling can be SO exhausting! 😅
"Do they feel more loved, or do you feel like you are more loving. There’s a difference. "Yes, big difference.
I've always thought an empath was someone who actually felt others' feelings. Not because they chose/choose to, they just do. And they do *not* wear a badge or brag about it. That's humblebragging and true empaths do not do that.
As far as "catching" someone else's anxiety, I don't think that has anything to do with empathy. As stated in the this morning's message, it's more a result of having enhanced ability to feel anything bad because of the rawness of having been abused. And that's when I have to admit my feels come to life. I get angry that good people have to suffer for the crimes of others.
I don't know if folks watch Saturday Night Live, but the Wayne's World sketches often went into a bit where Wayne or Garth would announce that a thought or idea made them sick, then they'd go back and forth begging each other not to get sick or it would make them ill in return. Of course, they said it much more "nicely" than that. I feel that way about anxiety sometimes and only under certain circumstances. But I don't think it really has anything to do with true empathy. For me, it has to do with inciting fear which in turn, of course, becomes anxiety.
This is the part of my path that I have been aligning with for a few months.
But I have also had deep questions about it too. It has taken me a LONG time to get to the “ roots” of my life and the “ truth” about abuse. So much of it was emotional/ psychological and harder to see than physical abuse. That never happened. But the collateral damage put the trajectory of my life in motion. I do believe this,
that I was a sensitive human, a very fearful child and adult. I could go on and on replaying events of people … places … and things.
It has ALL lead to this manifesting of disordered Anxiety.
However….
And this is a bit chilling for me Drew,
I have also recently ( oh say in these past months since March) discovered, or have been “ enlightened “, aware of, the universe telling me(?)
that I have been “ severely”
Co-Dependant. And where all that comes from. Abandonments issues, and MORE!
I have attracted Narcissists into my life, and have yet to have a true successful romantic relationship. If you recall, I have posted here on living in a NOT so healthy environment. And I live with the ex husband who is covert Narcissist.?He has his own pain and past to yet discover. I am still active in looking for options in housing… finding a decent car to help change my circumstances as I work on my life. This you could say Drew… IS that inner child work you have mentioned recently.
And even though I feel so much love and joy for life and so want my soul to be free, this has been my history. I am 69, and time is so precious. Is this is not synchronicity… then I don’t know what is?
I saw this this morning … and a post from a gal here named Kim( below) and could hardly believe the irony.
The truth hurts. And it’s deeply uncomfortable to me right now, setting off the Anxiety and the unstable symptoms from day to day. But…. Can I be this uncomfortable and still be on the “ right track” for my recovery. I say… YES!🌈🌈🌈. I am in tears, but somehow i feel optimistic to keep going.
I know, there is a life of wellness, freedom, and peace of mind beyond this history. 🌈🌈🌈
I would do exactly this or believe I was a empath . What I learned through therapy was I was very codependent and needed to set boundaries with the people I loved. It was a huge eye opener and made so much sense. A excellent book is “Codependent No More” by Melody Beatty:)
I had therapists that told me I was an empath, who knows, maybe I am SOME...but I now see that I definitely am hypervigilant to others and everything to keep everything nice and easy and to avoid danger....Probably from abuse in the past and uncomfortable losses....and emotions....
Hello there. I have just made a huge post here. I read your post and could not believe I was seeing this as this looks like it is turning out to be MY life long story as well.
Thank you for sharing as it seems it was “ meant to be”. 🙏
Well, l can see what you are saying here about responding to the world, people and triggers and the safety aspect, but...l don't think you quite grasp what a true empath is. Its not a superpower that differentiates a person from another, as you seem to be suggesting. An empath can be born more sensitive to cues than others, can feel more than others do but it isnt some kind of power. You are right that trauma can play a role too, heightening that sensitivity even further. Imagine both? I am an empath. And as a result of both. There are many benefits to being an empath (and difficulties) and your post is great for those who need support regarding anxiety but kind of a bit lacking in knowledge as to what an empath actually is. Its not always a reason for escaping life to feel safe, it is just the way some of us are. Some of us just feel more, pick up more, are more sensitive and get more drained by things. So may need a little more to recover from anxiety.
This is so me....I think I'm trying to protect myself by being hypervigilant towards everyone's moods, looks, words...etc. Trying to make things smooth and perfect so I don't have deal with being overwhelmed....I have to be on alert....to protect.......I want to be loved and liked.....
Agreed!!!! This is so me with my older daughter. She just has been diagnosed with anorexia and yes!!!! I’m there for her every single minute even after the doctors keep telling me that she has to realize what her problem is in order for her to be committed with HER problem.
I overtake her boundaries and everyone else’s at home 🙈
I truly think I want to see her healthy, I love her, but honestly, how much is my attitude helping her or helping my personal anxiety? Where is that fragile line?
I’ve never really thought of myself as an empath. I do however tend to pay attention to others moods and actions. Ready to “fix” whatever is bothering them. I’m a people watcher, haha….I always knew that it was connected to my abusive past. I know it’s because of that past I avoid conflict at all costs because in my history conflict could erupt into something scary and dangerous. I really appreciate hearing this today. I am, along with my health anxiety recovery, working on accepting myself and seeing that I am good enough and I deserve to be happy. I often catch myself before I go down the worry rabbit hole about how other people are reacting to the things around us. I am learning I am only responsible for myself and my actions… something my grown children are quick to point out and I am thankful. Worrying about everyone else and how they’re feeling can be SO exhausting! 😅
"Do they feel more loved, or do you feel like you are more loving. There’s a difference. "Yes, big difference.
I've always thought an empath was someone who actually felt others' feelings. Not because they chose/choose to, they just do. And they do *not* wear a badge or brag about it. That's humblebragging and true empaths do not do that.
As far as "catching" someone else's anxiety, I don't think that has anything to do with empathy. As stated in the this morning's message, it's more a result of having enhanced ability to feel anything bad because of the rawness of having been abused. And that's when I have to admit my feels come to life. I get angry that good people have to suffer for the crimes of others.
I don't know if folks watch Saturday Night Live, but the Wayne's World sketches often went into a bit where Wayne or Garth would announce that a thought or idea made them sick, then they'd go back and forth begging each other not to get sick or it would make them ill in return. Of course, they said it much more "nicely" than that. I feel that way about anxiety sometimes and only under certain circumstances. But I don't think it really has anything to do with true empathy. For me, it has to do with inciting fear which in turn, of course, becomes anxiety.
Loved the message today...it's really loaded.
Hi Drew from Az,
All I can say right NOW AT THIS MOMENT IS
O. M. G.
This is the part of my path that I have been aligning with for a few months.
But I have also had deep questions about it too. It has taken me a LONG time to get to the “ roots” of my life and the “ truth” about abuse. So much of it was emotional/ psychological and harder to see than physical abuse. That never happened. But the collateral damage put the trajectory of my life in motion. I do believe this,
that I was a sensitive human, a very fearful child and adult. I could go on and on replaying events of people … places … and things.
It has ALL lead to this manifesting of disordered Anxiety.
However….
And this is a bit chilling for me Drew,
I have also recently ( oh say in these past months since March) discovered, or have been “ enlightened “, aware of, the universe telling me(?)
that I have been “ severely”
Co-Dependant. And where all that comes from. Abandonments issues, and MORE!
I have attracted Narcissists into my life, and have yet to have a true successful romantic relationship. If you recall, I have posted here on living in a NOT so healthy environment. And I live with the ex husband who is covert Narcissist.?He has his own pain and past to yet discover. I am still active in looking for options in housing… finding a decent car to help change my circumstances as I work on my life. This you could say Drew… IS that inner child work you have mentioned recently.
And even though I feel so much love and joy for life and so want my soul to be free, this has been my history. I am 69, and time is so precious. Is this is not synchronicity… then I don’t know what is?
I saw this this morning … and a post from a gal here named Kim( below) and could hardly believe the irony.
The truth hurts. And it’s deeply uncomfortable to me right now, setting off the Anxiety and the unstable symptoms from day to day. But…. Can I be this uncomfortable and still be on the “ right track” for my recovery. I say… YES!🌈🌈🌈. I am in tears, but somehow i feel optimistic to keep going.
I know, there is a life of wellness, freedom, and peace of mind beyond this history. 🌈🌈🌈
I would do exactly this or believe I was a empath . What I learned through therapy was I was very codependent and needed to set boundaries with the people I loved. It was a huge eye opener and made so much sense. A excellent book is “Codependent No More” by Melody Beatty:)
I had therapists that told me I was an empath, who knows, maybe I am SOME...but I now see that I definitely am hypervigilant to others and everything to keep everything nice and easy and to avoid danger....Probably from abuse in the past and uncomfortable losses....and emotions....
Hello there. I have just made a huge post here. I read your post and could not believe I was seeing this as this looks like it is turning out to be MY life long story as well.
Thank you for sharing as it seems it was “ meant to be”. 🙏
Well, l can see what you are saying here about responding to the world, people and triggers and the safety aspect, but...l don't think you quite grasp what a true empath is. Its not a superpower that differentiates a person from another, as you seem to be suggesting. An empath can be born more sensitive to cues than others, can feel more than others do but it isnt some kind of power. You are right that trauma can play a role too, heightening that sensitivity even further. Imagine both? I am an empath. And as a result of both. There are many benefits to being an empath (and difficulties) and your post is great for those who need support regarding anxiety but kind of a bit lacking in knowledge as to what an empath actually is. Its not always a reason for escaping life to feel safe, it is just the way some of us are. Some of us just feel more, pick up more, are more sensitive and get more drained by things. So may need a little more to recover from anxiety.