As you move down the anxiety recovery path, you will most certainly hit rough patches. There are ups and downs. Good days and bad. Keep your expectations in check as you go. Be careful about declaring the bad days to be “setbacks” or indicative that you are back to “square one”.
We’ll talk about setbacks and the concept of “square one”, but this morning I want to give a brief overview how to handle the bad days when they happen.
American football teams use playbooks to guide their actions in a game. For any situation, the playbook will indicate what should be done next. Teams practice the plays in the book so they know what they’re doing before they do it. Playbooks exist because when the chips are down and the pressure is on, even the most experienced players and coaches do not want to be making it up as they go along. They recognize that pressure makes it difficult to think clearly and make sound decisions.
What else makes it difficult to think clearly and make sound decisions?
Hint: The answer is “anxiety”. But you already knew that.
In “The Anxious Truth” I wrote quite a bit about having a bad day playbook. I’ve recorded podcast episodes about it. If you’re not familiar with the concept, here’s a quick outline of what your “bad day playbook” might look like. These are the pre-defined actions you can take when struggling, rather than simply retreating, or trying to make it up as you go along.
1. Recognize the difficulty, the struggle, and the emotions that come with the bad day. We're not trying to stomp out emotions, so give yourself some time to cry, be angry, vent, and otherwise express what you need to express. That is NOT wrong to do. Just don't let it drag on for an extended period of time.
2. Return to your success journal. Do you have one? Are you recording your wins when you have them, no matter how small they are? A bad day will convince you that you are at square one and will never get better. Keeping a success journal means you can go back to it and see in an objective way that you have made progress and that things ARE changing for the better. If you’re not keeping a success journal, consider starting. More on that another day.
3. Go back to more basic simple exposures and repeat them. Take a short walk. Call a friend. Watch a movie. Read part of a book. Sing along with a few songs. Draw a picture. Find something that you know you can do even when feeling anxious and afraid, then do that thing. ACTION is needed on a bad day. Go SHOW yourself that a bad day is not a nightmare. This is a far better idea than sitting around for 14 hours thinking about how you feel.
4. When you’ve made room to express yourself, then taken some action to show yourself that you’re still OK, circle back at the end of the day and record it. You'll be able to use the record of this bad to help you with future bad days.
“Started off like shit. Felt hopeless. Cried for an hour. Went through my journal to remind myself of the changes I’m making. Took a walk through the park. Chatted with a few friends. Made myself dinner. Reminded myself that I am still capable. Nothing bad happened.”
Nobody wants to struggle. Nobody wants to have bad days. But they are a reality in recovery and in life. Having a plan in place for how you will handle those days can make the difference between a bad day and a bad week or two.
Tomorrow we’ll look how we can put our thoughts and feelings into a healthier, more productive place in our lives.
Have you listened to this week’s episode of The Anxious Truth podcast? Check it out out on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music, or my website and YouTube channel.
19. What Is A "Bad Day Playbook"?