This is a very important Anxious Morning. "Sometimes the doing - even if that doing requires effort and bravery - IS the instruction. The doing is the step you are looking for." This kind of sums it up for me. Your description of sitting at the table mapping out your recovery steps, feeling brave and hopeful, then it all kind of falls apart when you're slammed by a panic attack, is something we've all experienced and also, while so frustrating, also very key to remember. The best laid plans can collapse, whether around panic, a vacation, new home......happens to all of us. You chalk it up and try again.
"Let go. Surrender. Allow the worst thing. Accept that it is there and that you must experience it and move through it. That’s it." The simplicity is a thing of beauty but the doing is another story.
I think what people are seeking is *how* to do this. I don't think it matters what it's called (program, process, guide, plan), but being able to know what happens in the mind of "the successful" when they succeed would be incredibly helpful. Maybe it has to be an Aha! moment or an epiphany that finally clicks in the heads of the fortunate ones. Some seem to work very hard for years, others only a few weeks to achieve success. And some will not get there this way, but that's OK. Some can't dance or meditate. It's life.
I agree with so much of what you say. I think what Drew is saying is that once the core concepts are understood (accept, float, etc) the "how" is found in the doing. I think because we anxious folk tend to over-think, that we also over-think how to recover perfectly. Is there one article or podcast that I have missed that will allow me to begin to perfectly execute the "doing", leading to recovery. Always searching for the missing link. To me Drew is saying sooner or later folks, we just have to choose a nail and hit it (exposure). Knowing the core concepts can be enough. Gather up as much courage as you can, and go forward. Only there will you begin to really learn recovery. I think it is possible to to be willing to allow the worst to happen.
Yes, this makes good sense, Lucy. I guess, it's somewhat like learning to ride a bike, overworked as that analogy is. If you think about it too long and too intently, you'll fall over because it doesn't make sense to you that you can sit there without toppling to one side or the other even though you see countless others doing it. My own mother couldn't swim because the concept of floating just did not make sense to her. She saw thousands doing it over time, including me and my brother. But she couldn't wrap her mind around it.
This is perhaps what you're saying. Stop thinking and just do. I recall how it felt when I could finally ride a bike. I was sure I'd fall over because I was overthinking...when I took off, I basically couldn't believe it. There was no turning back.
I think because when I'm doing the intrusive thinking work, which is hardly "work," I feel like I'm intellectualizing and nothing is really clicking. So I figure with exposure work, I'm just going to freak anyway even though I'm trying to surrender, not care, mentally slump like a "ragdoll," and just go on doing what I was doing. I've been there (before finding Anxious Truth) during panic attacks before, just continuing with life, shopping, going out with friends, etc., and it was pretty awful. I didn't see it as a win and the attacks never stopped. Maybe, since no one knew what the hell I was talking about, with the support of others who have "made it," here on AT, I can, too.
I love the bike and swimming analogy. Logically our minds say we will sink or fall, but sooner or later we jump in and prove to our minds that's not true. You have 100 percent everything you need to recover just like anyone else.
“Allow the worst to happen.” As I was on my exposure drive today I had a thought...when did I become this person? I used to love to drive, I used to love to go run at the park. When did I become this ball of anxious energy where I became afraid of my own body and thoughts a ball of nervousness with no confidence or trust in myself that I can handle anything in the moment. I got so angry that anxiety has run my life for ten months shrinking my life. As I got to the park to get off and walk my dog alone I became flooding with the “what ifs“ ( what if I faint, stop breathing, fall over, heart stops, can’t get help...) I finally just said to myself if the what ifs happen it freaking happens! ( but I said the F word 😂🤦🏻♀️). Today I had reached a point of exhaustion from resisting, planning, controlling, thinking, engaging, scanning . I wanted to just go on a freaking walk! On the drive home I felt neutral the neutral Drew had mentioned. It was so foreign to me. I cried happy tears that in that moment I knew I would and will be okay. When I dropped all the struggle and fighting against myself I felt like the chains dropped. Will I feel anxious again..yes I’m human but I can feel the fear fading and the trust in myself getting stronger. I am beyond grateful for this community. There is hope and healing...we’re not broken we’re just a little stuck ❤️🩹
I hear this well. I don't know how many times I have heard the 'Weeke's Method'! Was it a method? A program? Would she have wanted it to be known like that? Don't know, not sure I personally care. But overall the message always seems to be the same, as if it has to be emboldened constantly and underlined...surrender, non resistance, go limp, acceptance. That's kind of it, and sounds so totally reductionist. It is really I guess, to something that seems so powerful in its grip; anxiety and fear. And I don't know how many times you have insisted it isn't 'Drew's Method'. But guess you have to accept that people will see it that way and lay down that red carpet for you (that I know you don't want to tread on!) because you have given them hope. That is precious. Beautiful.
I think the biggest problem here that might need addressing is 'allow the worst thing'. Resistance will be there and to try and 'let go' to allow the 'worst thing', I have a feeling is where the problem lies. Not even a brave soldier can say, hand on heart, that they can allow the worst thing. It means different things for different people but because we are built to survive, the worst thing could be akin to death and have to challenge this...who can 'allow' that?
This is a very important Anxious Morning. "Sometimes the doing - even if that doing requires effort and bravery - IS the instruction. The doing is the step you are looking for." This kind of sums it up for me. Your description of sitting at the table mapping out your recovery steps, feeling brave and hopeful, then it all kind of falls apart when you're slammed by a panic attack, is something we've all experienced and also, while so frustrating, also very key to remember. The best laid plans can collapse, whether around panic, a vacation, new home......happens to all of us. You chalk it up and try again.
"Let go. Surrender. Allow the worst thing. Accept that it is there and that you must experience it and move through it. That’s it." The simplicity is a thing of beauty but the doing is another story.
I think what people are seeking is *how* to do this. I don't think it matters what it's called (program, process, guide, plan), but being able to know what happens in the mind of "the successful" when they succeed would be incredibly helpful. Maybe it has to be an Aha! moment or an epiphany that finally clicks in the heads of the fortunate ones. Some seem to work very hard for years, others only a few weeks to achieve success. And some will not get there this way, but that's OK. Some can't dance or meditate. It's life.
I agree with so much of what you say. I think what Drew is saying is that once the core concepts are understood (accept, float, etc) the "how" is found in the doing. I think because we anxious folk tend to over-think, that we also over-think how to recover perfectly. Is there one article or podcast that I have missed that will allow me to begin to perfectly execute the "doing", leading to recovery. Always searching for the missing link. To me Drew is saying sooner or later folks, we just have to choose a nail and hit it (exposure). Knowing the core concepts can be enough. Gather up as much courage as you can, and go forward. Only there will you begin to really learn recovery. I think it is possible to to be willing to allow the worst to happen.
Yes, this makes good sense, Lucy. I guess, it's somewhat like learning to ride a bike, overworked as that analogy is. If you think about it too long and too intently, you'll fall over because it doesn't make sense to you that you can sit there without toppling to one side or the other even though you see countless others doing it. My own mother couldn't swim because the concept of floating just did not make sense to her. She saw thousands doing it over time, including me and my brother. But she couldn't wrap her mind around it.
This is perhaps what you're saying. Stop thinking and just do. I recall how it felt when I could finally ride a bike. I was sure I'd fall over because I was overthinking...when I took off, I basically couldn't believe it. There was no turning back.
I think because when I'm doing the intrusive thinking work, which is hardly "work," I feel like I'm intellectualizing and nothing is really clicking. So I figure with exposure work, I'm just going to freak anyway even though I'm trying to surrender, not care, mentally slump like a "ragdoll," and just go on doing what I was doing. I've been there (before finding Anxious Truth) during panic attacks before, just continuing with life, shopping, going out with friends, etc., and it was pretty awful. I didn't see it as a win and the attacks never stopped. Maybe, since no one knew what the hell I was talking about, with the support of others who have "made it," here on AT, I can, too.
I love the bike and swimming analogy. Logically our minds say we will sink or fall, but sooner or later we jump in and prove to our minds that's not true. You have 100 percent everything you need to recover just like anyone else.
Thank you, Lucy. I think so too...re that last statement. Hugs.
“Allow the worst to happen.” As I was on my exposure drive today I had a thought...when did I become this person? I used to love to drive, I used to love to go run at the park. When did I become this ball of anxious energy where I became afraid of my own body and thoughts a ball of nervousness with no confidence or trust in myself that I can handle anything in the moment. I got so angry that anxiety has run my life for ten months shrinking my life. As I got to the park to get off and walk my dog alone I became flooding with the “what ifs“ ( what if I faint, stop breathing, fall over, heart stops, can’t get help...) I finally just said to myself if the what ifs happen it freaking happens! ( but I said the F word 😂🤦🏻♀️). Today I had reached a point of exhaustion from resisting, planning, controlling, thinking, engaging, scanning . I wanted to just go on a freaking walk! On the drive home I felt neutral the neutral Drew had mentioned. It was so foreign to me. I cried happy tears that in that moment I knew I would and will be okay. When I dropped all the struggle and fighting against myself I felt like the chains dropped. Will I feel anxious again..yes I’m human but I can feel the fear fading and the trust in myself getting stronger. I am beyond grateful for this community. There is hope and healing...we’re not broken we’re just a little stuck ❤️🩹
I hear this well. I don't know how many times I have heard the 'Weeke's Method'! Was it a method? A program? Would she have wanted it to be known like that? Don't know, not sure I personally care. But overall the message always seems to be the same, as if it has to be emboldened constantly and underlined...surrender, non resistance, go limp, acceptance. That's kind of it, and sounds so totally reductionist. It is really I guess, to something that seems so powerful in its grip; anxiety and fear. And I don't know how many times you have insisted it isn't 'Drew's Method'. But guess you have to accept that people will see it that way and lay down that red carpet for you (that I know you don't want to tread on!) because you have given them hope. That is precious. Beautiful.
I think the biggest problem here that might need addressing is 'allow the worst thing'. Resistance will be there and to try and 'let go' to allow the 'worst thing', I have a feeling is where the problem lies. Not even a brave soldier can say, hand on heart, that they can allow the worst thing. It means different things for different people but because we are built to survive, the worst thing could be akin to death and have to challenge this...who can 'allow' that?
Beautifully articulated here, thanks Rebecca👍🏼