But, I thought this post was for me only! 😆Yeah, I guess I do navigate more and hide less. I used to cry during my break at work in my car.....So far that's mostly stopped. Even on bad days a part of me knows we have been here and done that before....so chances are it might be rough...but I will make it to the other side. Last night the words "do nothing" came to me...so that's cool. And today I made myself act like a non disordered person and I opened the curtains to let the sun shine in....for solar heat. I'm going to be getting back to that again...acting as if.....So not a total failure here....We are so hard on ourselves....💜
This was a good way to start the week. I see this in myself. I think because I still have symptoms and I am not doing EVERYTHING I used to do I am failing. I also see that I don’t let the remaining symptoms and the fear they bring stop me from doing things I couldn’t a year ago. So I AM recovering. My Psychiatrist loves to remind me “recovery is not linear…ups and downs are part of the process” thank you for reminding me also. I needed to hear that today.
Drew how do you know me and my freaking brain..lol. This experience of anxiety is such a trip! Some days I feel like I’m such a loser and my brain is beating me up from the inside and all I want to do is crawl in my bed and hide...and other days I get a burst of confidence and surrender and I truly believe I will be okay like I once was and all this will be behind me. Since I found this community I’m having more and more moments of confidence and knowing that I will handle anything in the moment I don’t need to prepare for anything.
That message is sure appropriate for me today Drew. I’m that person well into recovery, but still experiencing set backs off and on. It’s good to see the reminder this morning to just stick with the exposure and move forward. Thank you
I feel like you wrote this for me today!!! hahaha I am at that point right now. I go to places and think of a contingency plan, and I am having so much success--after 11 months of suffering and extreme fear. I do tend to beat my self up every day for all of the things that I still can't do. But, actually, I am so much better than I was. Each day I go to places that I previously could not go to-CVS, Trader Joe's, the post office, etc. Each time, I give myself permission to leave if I need to, and I still do look for the exits. However, I also plan how I will cope if I begin to panic. My "staying power" is so much better than it was in the past year. Some days I can only stay in a store for 6 or 7 minutes, but I consider it a win! I am no longer looking to run home, but rather to stay for just a few minutes or more. It's getting better because of the "strength reserve" I have built up. More often than not, I am able to stay longer than I expected and this continues to fuel my determination to keep getting out there. Drew, thank you for your encouraging words on this integral piece to the puzzle! It's sooooo helpful and encouraging to hear it!
Oh boy, I can relate to this. Years ago when my anxiety was in a phase of high alert, mentioned it to my doctor. Gave me an SSRI and suggested therapy. Did both. After about 2 months of weekly therapy (explaining fight or flight, amygdala function, fear triggers, cognitive distortions, reading MANY self help books etc, etc, etc ). I thought, OK I got it. Life goes on and I’m thinking “thank goodness that’s behind me.”
……Cue Life Happens. “Oh no, what if my hours get cut at work, what if I don’t have enough $ to retire, what if this doesn’t heal, what if I come down with something terrible, what if I’m in pain, what if…. Insert whatever the terror of the day”.
My thoughts are…. Here I go down the rabbit hole AGAIN. WTF !! I thought this damn therapy was supposed to help me.
I think, looking back, I had unrealistic expectations. I felt that “knowing what was happening in my brain would allow me to rise above and dismiss those what ifs.
Sadly, not so. Health concerns play a role in my anxiety…. And if I boil it down, it comes down to —-I hate uncertainty—-
Winston/Seif book “Needing to know for Sure” helped a lot.
Eventually I’ve come to realize I can only do my best…. I’m as sure as I can be in an uncertain world. Stop digging and drop the shovel.
Do I still struggle with anxiety … yes
As much as I used to …no.
At one time, anxiety seemed like the Monster clawing at the door that I was throwing my weight against to keep out.
Now, I treat it like the pesky in law that has overstayed his welcome. “Oh, it’s you again, (insert eye roll) come in and sit down ; I’ll deal with you later, I’m busy right now “
I tell myself “you’re not stupid, if this is something, you’ll get it checked and make a plan from there, but right now I have to …..
(insert task). Most times it blows over.
Cue the meditation.
As an aside…. I would love to see this morning gem continue. Just sayin ‘…😀
But, I thought this post was for me only! 😆Yeah, I guess I do navigate more and hide less. I used to cry during my break at work in my car.....So far that's mostly stopped. Even on bad days a part of me knows we have been here and done that before....so chances are it might be rough...but I will make it to the other side. Last night the words "do nothing" came to me...so that's cool. And today I made myself act like a non disordered person and I opened the curtains to let the sun shine in....for solar heat. I'm going to be getting back to that again...acting as if.....So not a total failure here....We are so hard on ourselves....💜
YES, YES, YES! This is where I am Drew! Thank you for this one. Everything you said is so true. As always Love You Big Guy 😘
This was a good way to start the week. I see this in myself. I think because I still have symptoms and I am not doing EVERYTHING I used to do I am failing. I also see that I don’t let the remaining symptoms and the fear they bring stop me from doing things I couldn’t a year ago. So I AM recovering. My Psychiatrist loves to remind me “recovery is not linear…ups and downs are part of the process” thank you for reminding me also. I needed to hear that today.
Drew how do you know me and my freaking brain..lol. This experience of anxiety is such a trip! Some days I feel like I’m such a loser and my brain is beating me up from the inside and all I want to do is crawl in my bed and hide...and other days I get a burst of confidence and surrender and I truly believe I will be okay like I once was and all this will be behind me. Since I found this community I’m having more and more moments of confidence and knowing that I will handle anything in the moment I don’t need to prepare for anything.
Yep!!!! This is definitely for me!!!! Thanks Drew
That message is sure appropriate for me today Drew. I’m that person well into recovery, but still experiencing set backs off and on. It’s good to see the reminder this morning to just stick with the exposure and move forward. Thank you
I feel like you wrote this for me today!!! hahaha I am at that point right now. I go to places and think of a contingency plan, and I am having so much success--after 11 months of suffering and extreme fear. I do tend to beat my self up every day for all of the things that I still can't do. But, actually, I am so much better than I was. Each day I go to places that I previously could not go to-CVS, Trader Joe's, the post office, etc. Each time, I give myself permission to leave if I need to, and I still do look for the exits. However, I also plan how I will cope if I begin to panic. My "staying power" is so much better than it was in the past year. Some days I can only stay in a store for 6 or 7 minutes, but I consider it a win! I am no longer looking to run home, but rather to stay for just a few minutes or more. It's getting better because of the "strength reserve" I have built up. More often than not, I am able to stay longer than I expected and this continues to fuel my determination to keep getting out there. Drew, thank you for your encouraging words on this integral piece to the puzzle! It's sooooo helpful and encouraging to hear it!
Oh boy, I can relate to this. Years ago when my anxiety was in a phase of high alert, mentioned it to my doctor. Gave me an SSRI and suggested therapy. Did both. After about 2 months of weekly therapy (explaining fight or flight, amygdala function, fear triggers, cognitive distortions, reading MANY self help books etc, etc, etc ). I thought, OK I got it. Life goes on and I’m thinking “thank goodness that’s behind me.”
……Cue Life Happens. “Oh no, what if my hours get cut at work, what if I don’t have enough $ to retire, what if this doesn’t heal, what if I come down with something terrible, what if I’m in pain, what if…. Insert whatever the terror of the day”.
My thoughts are…. Here I go down the rabbit hole AGAIN. WTF !! I thought this damn therapy was supposed to help me.
I think, looking back, I had unrealistic expectations. I felt that “knowing what was happening in my brain would allow me to rise above and dismiss those what ifs.
Sadly, not so. Health concerns play a role in my anxiety…. And if I boil it down, it comes down to —-I hate uncertainty—-
Winston/Seif book “Needing to know for Sure” helped a lot.
Eventually I’ve come to realize I can only do my best…. I’m as sure as I can be in an uncertain world. Stop digging and drop the shovel.
Do I still struggle with anxiety … yes
As much as I used to …no.
At one time, anxiety seemed like the Monster clawing at the door that I was throwing my weight against to keep out.
Now, I treat it like the pesky in law that has overstayed his welcome. “Oh, it’s you again, (insert eye roll) come in and sit down ; I’ll deal with you later, I’m busy right now “
I tell myself “you’re not stupid, if this is something, you’ll get it checked and make a plan from there, but right now I have to …..
(insert task). Most times it blows over.
Cue the meditation.
As an aside…. I would love to see this morning gem continue. Just sayin ‘…😀
Struggling again to see how it applies to health anxiety :(