Today - at least in the US - the official “buy stuff” season officially starts. Really, its been starting earlier and earlier every year it seems, but I don’t want to get off on a rant about consumerism and materialism. At least not now.
We do not talk enough about the financial burden that comes with mental health struggles. Everyone sees injury or physical illness that can prevent someone from earning the living they want and need to earn. But the hard fact is that even though it may be largely invisible to many, a significant number of people struggling with anxiety problems are unemployed or underemployed for some period of time during that struggle.
When you are not working or have modified your employment in the form of fewer hours or less responsibility, there is going to be a financial impact on you and your family. This is difficult enough to handle as it is, but when the “buy stuff” season kicks off and you’re reminded constantly that you may not be able to buy stuff right now, that sense of failure or dread can get magnified 100 times. Sometimes we magnify and distort things internally. Sometimes the world is happy to do that for us. I’m talking to you, Black Friday. Thanks for the smack in the face.
I speak often about how we should not demand that the universe accommodate our anxiety and our fear. In this situation we don’t get to tell everyone else to stop what they’re doing because it makes us feel bad. It just doesn’t work that way.
But this doesn’t mean that the struggle is not real. It is real. If your mental health is having a negative financial impact in your life and you’re REALLY feeling that this time of year, I get it. I see you. And so do many other members of this community that are also struggling or were once struggling. Sometimes social media co-opts and tramples all over the “you are not alone thing” in the name of attention grabbing, but right here and right now in this context I am happy to assure you that you are in fact not alone.
You’re not failing. You’re not broken or beyond hope. You’re not a terrible parent or partner because of your bank balance. You are living the same experience that others are living. You would not call them failures and they would not think that of you.
I would like to have some magic words for you here to change things. If I could provide tips and tricks for what to do to increase your bank balance, I would. All I can do is to remind you that the steps you take toward recovery often feel too small or like they are not enough, but they will add up and when they do, you’ll be better able to address the financial impact you’re feeling now.
And know this. The choices you make today to make things work today might feel bad, but everyone needs some help now and then. You are still worthy of respect and have your inherent worth and dignity intact. Nobody gets to take that away from you. It’s OK to just do the best you can at the moment.
Now, if as a gesture of defiance and a show of strength you feel like giving the middle finger to Black Friday and the “buy stuff” season, feel free to use the comments section to do that. I’m guessing you won’t be the only one to do it.
“Don’t you think it’s ironic that Americans spend the most money on new things the day after they say they’re grateful for what they already have?” - Found On The Internet
Every Friday I’ll share one of my favorite quotes. They’ll often have direct application in recovery, but sometimes they’re just generally funny, inspiring, or thought-provoking. I hope you enjoy them.
210. Black (and blue) Friday