I shared recently that I “graduated” from therapy. My therapist felt it was time for me to take the reins and keep moving forward, I was on the right path. She saw me as on the path to recover. She is still available if I need her. She was wonderful and I’m thankful to her for all she helped me with. The funny thing is when we first started and she didn’t ask about my history and just jumped into the present, I was worried she couldn’t help. I was so afraid of my own body and all the scary stories in my head, I was barely functioning. That’s where she met me at the fear and the work to overcome it. I now realize that’s right where I needed her to be. Along with reading your books, Drew, and hearing the same advice that she was giving me from another source strengthened my resolve to recover. I still have my days, but I am so thankful to her and to The Anxious Truth. Personally I don’t feel the need to heal my past. I know I have old wounds, but it’s part of who I am, and I’m ok with that.
The thing about therapy is that it either clicks with you or it doesn't. I've been in therapy for decades. My first 2 therapists were totally Freudian, steeped in psychoanalytic theory pretty much mirroring the morning letter today. I had a difficult childhood, so now I would transfer my anger to the therapist where we'd realize that that was then and this is now and *now*, I can be an adult. I can emerge from my cocoon a beautiful, healthy adult butterfly, leaving behind the obsessions and panic that plagued me. Does that not sound so rational and perfect? Well, it stood for a very long time until modern psychology came up with other ways to conquer mental problems. There is no one size fits all. And what of genetics? Not accounted for in Freudian based therapy. Many of us have anxiety due to genetic predisposition. At any rate, NONE of the therapists worked for me, including anxiety specialists. Had no effect at all except to send me into orbit, one way or another.
Since one of my experiences was with a group, I was able to watch people click quite frequently. It was amazing. Why was I not able to get better? For one thing, they weren't anxious or obsessed. The therapist, a very kind psychiatrist, told me that obsessive behaviors were the hardest to treat and no one really knew how. I've always thought anxiety *was* an obsessive behavior. It's a thought that we allow to get out of control and can't stop thinking about it or the others that tail from it. What if's, etc. Obsessive imo.
If you choose therapy, be with someone who doesn't put you in a box. Some use the same techniques on all clients. If you smell this happening, and the plan is not working for you, leave.
*Most* importantly, don't leave the office each session without their explaining to your satisfaction exactly how their theories, program, techniques, etc., directly benefit you. Make them Show You The Money, so to speak. For me, that means a concrete explanation of how I can put their ideas into play to make my life better. If they can't do that, and if you aren't getting better, leave.
There are a lot of bad therapists out there. It's tough to be a good one because you have to have: incredible listening skills that go beneath and beyond what the client is saying, the patience and skills to explain what you're hearing in a way that is clear and believable to them and a program tailored to help them get better. It also helps if you're personable while never losing your professionalism.
I had this experience too, many years ago. The therapist ended up being an expert in marriage and relationships. So she had me bring my boyfriend (now husband) to a session; it was sort of “so he can learn to support me”, but it was just not relevant. She was trying to teach us communication strategies and stuff, when we weren’t having any problems! I’m sure she’s a great therapist if you need her niche, but she wasn’t treating the problem I actually had.
Is it possible to recover without a therapist? I did attend a therapist for 16 weeks and although i am in a better place now than when I started I wouldn’t say I am recovered
Yes— I have seen therapists on and off in my life, but none of them really knew much about anxiety. My whole recovery journey has been on my own, with the help of some books, podcasts, etc.
I shared recently that I “graduated” from therapy. My therapist felt it was time for me to take the reins and keep moving forward, I was on the right path. She saw me as on the path to recover. She is still available if I need her. She was wonderful and I’m thankful to her for all she helped me with. The funny thing is when we first started and she didn’t ask about my history and just jumped into the present, I was worried she couldn’t help. I was so afraid of my own body and all the scary stories in my head, I was barely functioning. That’s where she met me at the fear and the work to overcome it. I now realize that’s right where I needed her to be. Along with reading your books, Drew, and hearing the same advice that she was giving me from another source strengthened my resolve to recover. I still have my days, but I am so thankful to her and to The Anxious Truth. Personally I don’t feel the need to heal my past. I know I have old wounds, but it’s part of who I am, and I’m ok with that.
The thing about therapy is that it either clicks with you or it doesn't. I've been in therapy for decades. My first 2 therapists were totally Freudian, steeped in psychoanalytic theory pretty much mirroring the morning letter today. I had a difficult childhood, so now I would transfer my anger to the therapist where we'd realize that that was then and this is now and *now*, I can be an adult. I can emerge from my cocoon a beautiful, healthy adult butterfly, leaving behind the obsessions and panic that plagued me. Does that not sound so rational and perfect? Well, it stood for a very long time until modern psychology came up with other ways to conquer mental problems. There is no one size fits all. And what of genetics? Not accounted for in Freudian based therapy. Many of us have anxiety due to genetic predisposition. At any rate, NONE of the therapists worked for me, including anxiety specialists. Had no effect at all except to send me into orbit, one way or another.
Since one of my experiences was with a group, I was able to watch people click quite frequently. It was amazing. Why was I not able to get better? For one thing, they weren't anxious or obsessed. The therapist, a very kind psychiatrist, told me that obsessive behaviors were the hardest to treat and no one really knew how. I've always thought anxiety *was* an obsessive behavior. It's a thought that we allow to get out of control and can't stop thinking about it or the others that tail from it. What if's, etc. Obsessive imo.
If you choose therapy, be with someone who doesn't put you in a box. Some use the same techniques on all clients. If you smell this happening, and the plan is not working for you, leave.
*Most* importantly, don't leave the office each session without their explaining to your satisfaction exactly how their theories, program, techniques, etc., directly benefit you. Make them Show You The Money, so to speak. For me, that means a concrete explanation of how I can put their ideas into play to make my life better. If they can't do that, and if you aren't getting better, leave.
There are a lot of bad therapists out there. It's tough to be a good one because you have to have: incredible listening skills that go beneath and beyond what the client is saying, the patience and skills to explain what you're hearing in a way that is clear and believable to them and a program tailored to help them get better. It also helps if you're personable while never losing your professionalism.
It’s hard to find a therapist for me. I feel like running to stand still.
I had this experience too, many years ago. The therapist ended up being an expert in marriage and relationships. So she had me bring my boyfriend (now husband) to a session; it was sort of “so he can learn to support me”, but it was just not relevant. She was trying to teach us communication strategies and stuff, when we weren’t having any problems! I’m sure she’s a great therapist if you need her niche, but she wasn’t treating the problem I actually had.
It's so difficult to find the right therapist without spending a lot of time and money. I wish we could find the right one first time.
Is it possible to recover without a therapist? I did attend a therapist for 16 weeks and although i am in a better place now than when I started I wouldn’t say I am recovered
Yes— I have seen therapists on and off in my life, but none of them really knew much about anxiety. My whole recovery journey has been on my own, with the help of some books, podcasts, etc.