“Everyone is different, and I know what’s best for me!”
This is a thing we hear all the time in the online mental health community. I do not disagree with this principle. As long as nobody is getting hurt, everyone has a right to make their own mental health and well being choices and I believe that we have to respect that.
What I really want to look at is the idea that we automatically know what’s best for ourselves, and that we will therefore act accordingly. As is so often the case when it comes to significant anxiety issues, this can get a bit twisted so let’s talk about that.
I think we need to be mindful of how we define what is best, and why we consider it to be best. This is a typical values versus fear situation. When we assert that we know what is best for us in terms of anxiety recovery, are we basing that statement on what we truly value, or the desire to avoid discomfort and fear?
We can also look at this is a short-term versus long-term situation. When we choose avoidance over what we really desire and value in life, we are choosing short-term comfort at the expense of long-term loss, regret, or dissatisfaction. That is a choice everyone is free to make, but it should be made with an awareness of all the implications and consequences.
“I know what’s best for me, and exposure isn’t for me!” is a fair statement to make. If an avoidant lifestyle full of limitations and conditions is the desired outcome, then that is a value driven assessment. If that is not what one wants, then we could argue that in this context “best” is really serving fear, not fulfillment.
I am not here to pass judgment on anyone, condemn choices, or shame anyone into making different choices. But at least in the case of anxiety recovery, it serves us well to remain aware of how conventional wisdom and generally accepted “correctness” can get twisted to some degree. This awareness can help us make choices that more closely align with our values and what we truly want out of life.
So, we return again to values verses fear. You know what’s best for you. Nobody can deny that. But are your recovery choices “best” for moving you toward what you really want, or are they “best” for soothing fear based on an incorrect and misguided threat detection habit in your brain? That’s something to think about.
Tomorrow we’ll examine idea that you are your thoughts and why this assertion can cause so many problems.
Hey it’s Monday and that means that today at 2 PM Eastern I’ll do my “Recovery Monday” livestream on YouTube, Facebook, and Twitter. Come join in!
31. I KNOW WHAT'S BEST FOR ME!