One of my favorite movies of all time is The Big Lebowski. The late 90s Coen Brothers cult classic is jam-packed with great dialogue and quirky characters that I just love.
(Fun fact. I am an ordained minister in The Church of the Latter-Day Dude. I have a certificate and everything! Cost me like $10 or so a few years back and it still cracks me up.)
Anyway, my favorite character in the movie is Walter Sobchak, played by Jon Goodman. I’ll just say that Walter is an interesting guy. He’s generally really hot-headed in comparison to the even keeled Dude (the Jeff Bridges character). But when the shit hits the fan at several points in the movie, it’s Walter that winds up being the voice of reason, even if he is the one responsible for said shit hitting said fan.
When The Dude is beside himself because he is convinced that he and Walter have just guaranteed the death of Bunny Lebowski, he kinda loses it. The normally chilled out Dude, who doesn’t really seem to get excited about much of anything, comes a bit unglued. He’s clearly agitated and exasperated by his prediction of Bunny’s demise. In his mind, he is playing out a scenario in which Bunny is killed by the kidnappers, and it will be all his fault. He is gesturing wildly and yelling at Walter.
Walter’s response to the dude’s imagined disaster?
“Nothing is f*cked, Dude. Come on, you’re being very un-Dude.”
(Program Note: If you’re not listening to the podcast version of this email, you really should. A clip of Walter telling the dude to chill out is included, and it’s pretty damn funny from where I sit. Listen using the play button at the top of this email/webpage.)
Walter doesn’t see the same future that Dude is constructing in his mind. Walter knows that Bunny is not dead right now, and that they still have a plan to execute at the moment. He is calm and confident in the knowledge that while the Dude thinks that everything is f*cked, it really isn’t. At least not yet, and maybe not ever. Walter remains grounded in reality while The Dude is highly entangled with “what if” thoughts.
Can you relate to a situation where you think that everything is a disaster, but it really isn’t?
Have you been in a position where you are trying to predict the future in your head?
How often have you gotten worked up like The Dude was, turning “what if” thoughts into certain catastrophe in your mind?
When this happens, what can you do?
Sometimes we find guides in the strangest places. Sometimes even in silly movies about stoners, Nihilists, and other unusual characters. Once in a while we can extract recovery wisdom from sources that were never meant to be wise.
What would Walter say to your anxiety? Better yet, what would Walter tell YOU to DO?
“Our worst misfortunes never happen, and most miseries lie in anticipation.” - Honoré de Balzac
Every Friday I’ll share one of my favorite quotes. They’ll often have direct application in recovery, but sometimes they’re just generally funny, inspiring, or thought-provoking. I hope you enjoy them.
35. Nothing Is F*cked: What The Big Lebowski Can Teach Us About Irrational Fear