A few days ago on a Zoom call, I had someone say this to me:
”You think I’ve come a long way? Look at you! You’re writing in journals, telling me to be kind to myself, and making reels with Kardashian audio!”
We laughed. Then I got off the call and laughed even harder. Then I got kinda emotional over what she said to me. I had not even considered any of that. I’ve been talking to this person for over a year now as they go through their anxiety recovery journey. I can clearly see the tremendous changes they’ve undergone and the amazing progress they’ve made. But I had totally looked right past the fact that I am making changes and progress too.
Who knew?!
When this person trained floodlights on the changes I’d undergone in a year, it brought up an idea that I already knew, but had mistakenly abandoned and forgotten. It is a powerful idea that really had a huge impact in my own recovery journey.
Helping also helps the helper!
It’s true. While I’m fortunate to not be dealing with recovery any more, the act of helping in this context is STILL helping me. It helps me to become more well rounded in my approach. It helps me to stay aware of the real struggle, even many years after mine. It makes me a better more empathetic listener. It teaches me to be more of a cheerleader and less of an instructor when the situation warrants it. Helping aids me in developing tools and strategies that I can use in my own life. I can go on. The point is, helping is STILL helping the helper, even many years later.
☕️ ☕️ ☕️
Why am I telling you all this?
Because helping other people can also help you.
When you share your experiences, your struggles, and the lessons you learn along the way, those lessons become deeper and broader. When you give a struggling person advice, you also help yourself recognize and take the same advice that you may sometimes struggle to take. When you explain a thing that you know, you take a step beyond just knowing and toward truly understanding. And when you understand, you can start to utilize and integrate.
When you help others by showing kindness and compassion when they need it, you learn to show kindness and compassion to yourself, and to anyone struggling in any context even outside anxiety recovery. When you shine a light for someone who is behind you on the recovery path, you also shine a light on your own wins and your own progress - something we often forget to acknowledge.
Helping helps the helper, even when the helper feels like they need help themselves. So today, think about how you can reach out to help someone else. How can you inspire? How can you encourage? How can you empower? What have you done or learned that you can share? You may think that you are in no position to help anyone, but the odds are high that you have something to offer.
Offering it can be surprisingly impactful, so give it a try.
☕️ ☕️ ☕️
Tomorrow we’ll look at the relationship between seeking, searching, and doing in recovery.
Have you listened to this week’s episode of The Anxious Truth podcast? Check it out out on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music, or my website and YouTube channel.
39. When Helping Helps The Helper