I once purchased a Tai Chi DVD because doing things like Tai Chi are part of feeling good, right?
Spoiler alert. Tai Chi is wonderful and beautiful, but did not help me with my panic disorder. Not in any appreciable way, at least. In retrospect, I think I missed an opportunity to find value in a Tai Chi practice because I was shooting at the wrong target.
I was hoping that Tai Chi would make me FEEL GOOD. If it did that, then I’d have seen it as a wild success and I’d probably be writing books about THAT now. But it didn’t really make me feel good. It didn’t hurt, but I was a bit disillusioned because I did not finish my sessions feeling tranquil, grounded, calm, or connected. I felt about the same at the end of a session as I did at the start, so I called it failure.
So wrong. I missed the whole lesson. When I would pop in that DVD and spend 15 minutes practicing, I was learning to feel CAPABLE. I kinda felt like I couldn’t do anything back then, but I did 15 minutes of Tai Chi. I was being capable. Feeling good didn’t enter into it. I just wasn’t ready to see that.
There was no way I was going to create a "feel good" state while I felt weak, helpless, and out of control, but I kept beating my head against the wall to do exactly that. Meanwhile, there was capable Drew, right in front of me, but I was looking right past him and missing the whole point.
Odds are that the Universe is continually showing you that you are capable of handling anxiety and panic, and that you always wind up OK even when it feels bad.
Take. The. Lesson.
Pay attention to being capable and showing yourself that you are. This is far more important than feeling good, which sounds crazy, but it is true. Trying desperately to twist bad feelings into good feelings is likely not working for you in any consistent way, so first things first. Shoot for feeling capable
I was failing miserably at feeling good in my recovery. But first feeling CAPABLE sure made it easier for me to feel GOOD down the road in an organic, natural way that didn’t need to be forced or manufactured.
Amazing how that works!
Hey it’s Monday and that means that today at 2 PM Eastern I’ll do my “Recovery Monday” livestream on YouTube, Facebook, and Twitter. Come join in!
56. Feeling Good or Feeling Capable?