Thanks Drew. I have been afraid of my feelings. When i had the breakdown last year, triggered by the loss of my mother, and other life stuff, it dug up a lot of unresolved issues in me from my childhood and i kind of spiralled into disordered panic/anxiety. I had been afraid to feel because i was scared i would go mad from grief basically, or never get past it. I lost my brother in 2015 - it's been difficult. I feel like my life changed in an instant. I went from being fiercely independent to disordered and boy...I have judged myself, been angry and pretty much all the things you have mentioned. The worst i guess has been the lack of 'control' i have experienced, because i am a problem solver by nature and even professionally so. What a humbling journey. I am so grateful for these emails and to be a part of this community. Looking forward to this rest of this weeks topics. Thanks again.
This episode is really important, ie. distinguishing and understanding what our individual (I won’t use the word unique!) root fears are. In the case of Social Anxiety disorder, it’s not death and often not even emotions that are the feared outcome (although emotions ultimately are a bi-product and their own link in the self-defeating cycle) but embarrassment or ridicule in the presence of others, driven by shame or self-loathing and presenting as trembling, racing heart-rate, mind blanks and breathlessness (inability to speak). This causes significant anticipation anxiety, panic and terror at the prospect of others seeing both the outward symptoms as well as the inward shame/failure/confusion (or whatever is driving the social anxiety disorder). However I am learning to apply the ‘Relax/Belly Breathing/Focus’ principles outlined in The Anxious Truth (& nicely outlined in the video on Drew’s website) to try to help this. As Drew highlights, it’s definitely not an overnight solution, but the more I can practice this is normal daily life situations, the more I’m hoping it will start to ‘kick in’ and apply to those areas where my symptoms are triggered (for me, bizarrely it’s mostly professional situations at work rather than general social situations - which is more problematic for me as it by default impacts how I earn a living). And like you Simon, alcoholic drinks definitely allay some of the symptoms in the moment for me however 100% agree it’s not the answer! Though I would note situations/gatherings where I was drinking alcohol, even with usually ‘feared’ professional colleagues or those I’m intimidated by, certainly helped me realise my problem was more than just shyness or introversion - I would see myself transform into someone confident, articulate and self-assured without the chains of shame clanging in my head, and I knew there was something far deeper than mere shyness. Def. wish I’d learned about the ‘simple’ concept of anxiety and discovered Drew and the Anxious Truth community years ago. But better late than never😊
Thank you Drew! I have been struggling with emotions stemming from my MR’s. cancer diagnosis and it’s driving me crazy. The sadness can become so overwhelming that it leads to tears and then I question if something is wrong with me. Trying to learn relaxation and allowing the sadness or frustration or whatever decides to show up be present and allowing it to be. All the while reminding myself that I am creating this anxiety therefore I can undo this too. Love you Big Guy
What I would like to know is what is it that makes us suddenly become our emotions ? I’ve always been a sensitive and emotional guy , highly empathetic, and at 47 diagnosed adhd and ASD . But since last year , when I lost my business and my last parent , I now feel I AM my emotions . So connected to them all ! And this is why I fear all changes in my emotions . It’s such a vicious circle . In a way , it’s as if I have to STOP caring about my emotions somehow . When I have just 1 beer on a Friday night , I feel I can detach from me : my emotions . But obviously this is something I would not take up on a regular bases ( drinking ) to combat this . Just need to learn how to do this more often . Tiny steps . Thanks again Drew, shows me, and probably others , that when we feel our emotions are so different to others , that there are many of us going through this . 🙏
Hugs and courage to you, Simon! Grieving is a process. You will get back to a place where you don't identify so strongly with your emotions, so much of the time. These are not small losses that you have faced, so be kind to yourself. Our society doesn't support the time it takes to grieve well enough. As you said, tiny steps!
Kind words . Thank you . I’ve pushed on all my life , medicated most of it for depression , but last two years , and probably the least I’ve been medicated ( trying so damned hard to get off of one of my so called anti depressants ) I’m feeling every emotion sensation and feelings . And they feel so intense, and home has become my sage place but a place I hate . Hate being at home . With the family . Sad isn’t it ! Hating the safe place . But I’m taking steps to break this comfort zone . So hopefully , the safe place will one day be a nice place again .
Described me exactly . It’s my emotions that scare me . I won’t talk about my current trying to get off anti depressants, but to say it is the fear of the emotions I am getting whilst trying to withdraw that stops me trying to withdraw . Scared of the emotions it brings . Failure , weak etc .
Do you have an episode where you talk more about the fear of death? I haven't found any but would love to hear your perspective on this.
Thanks Drew. I have been afraid of my feelings. When i had the breakdown last year, triggered by the loss of my mother, and other life stuff, it dug up a lot of unresolved issues in me from my childhood and i kind of spiralled into disordered panic/anxiety. I had been afraid to feel because i was scared i would go mad from grief basically, or never get past it. I lost my brother in 2015 - it's been difficult. I feel like my life changed in an instant. I went from being fiercely independent to disordered and boy...I have judged myself, been angry and pretty much all the things you have mentioned. The worst i guess has been the lack of 'control' i have experienced, because i am a problem solver by nature and even professionally so. What a humbling journey. I am so grateful for these emails and to be a part of this community. Looking forward to this rest of this weeks topics. Thanks again.
This episode is really important, ie. distinguishing and understanding what our individual (I won’t use the word unique!) root fears are. In the case of Social Anxiety disorder, it’s not death and often not even emotions that are the feared outcome (although emotions ultimately are a bi-product and their own link in the self-defeating cycle) but embarrassment or ridicule in the presence of others, driven by shame or self-loathing and presenting as trembling, racing heart-rate, mind blanks and breathlessness (inability to speak). This causes significant anticipation anxiety, panic and terror at the prospect of others seeing both the outward symptoms as well as the inward shame/failure/confusion (or whatever is driving the social anxiety disorder). However I am learning to apply the ‘Relax/Belly Breathing/Focus’ principles outlined in The Anxious Truth (& nicely outlined in the video on Drew’s website) to try to help this. As Drew highlights, it’s definitely not an overnight solution, but the more I can practice this is normal daily life situations, the more I’m hoping it will start to ‘kick in’ and apply to those areas where my symptoms are triggered (for me, bizarrely it’s mostly professional situations at work rather than general social situations - which is more problematic for me as it by default impacts how I earn a living). And like you Simon, alcoholic drinks definitely allay some of the symptoms in the moment for me however 100% agree it’s not the answer! Though I would note situations/gatherings where I was drinking alcohol, even with usually ‘feared’ professional colleagues or those I’m intimidated by, certainly helped me realise my problem was more than just shyness or introversion - I would see myself transform into someone confident, articulate and self-assured without the chains of shame clanging in my head, and I knew there was something far deeper than mere shyness. Def. wish I’d learned about the ‘simple’ concept of anxiety and discovered Drew and the Anxious Truth community years ago. But better late than never😊
Thank you Drew! I have been struggling with emotions stemming from my MR’s. cancer diagnosis and it’s driving me crazy. The sadness can become so overwhelming that it leads to tears and then I question if something is wrong with me. Trying to learn relaxation and allowing the sadness or frustration or whatever decides to show up be present and allowing it to be. All the while reminding myself that I am creating this anxiety therefore I can undo this too. Love you Big Guy
What I would like to know is what is it that makes us suddenly become our emotions ? I’ve always been a sensitive and emotional guy , highly empathetic, and at 47 diagnosed adhd and ASD . But since last year , when I lost my business and my last parent , I now feel I AM my emotions . So connected to them all ! And this is why I fear all changes in my emotions . It’s such a vicious circle . In a way , it’s as if I have to STOP caring about my emotions somehow . When I have just 1 beer on a Friday night , I feel I can detach from me : my emotions . But obviously this is something I would not take up on a regular bases ( drinking ) to combat this . Just need to learn how to do this more often . Tiny steps . Thanks again Drew, shows me, and probably others , that when we feel our emotions are so different to others , that there are many of us going through this . 🙏
Hugs and courage to you, Simon! Grieving is a process. You will get back to a place where you don't identify so strongly with your emotions, so much of the time. These are not small losses that you have faced, so be kind to yourself. Our society doesn't support the time it takes to grieve well enough. As you said, tiny steps!
Kind words . Thank you . I’ve pushed on all my life , medicated most of it for depression , but last two years , and probably the least I’ve been medicated ( trying so damned hard to get off of one of my so called anti depressants ) I’m feeling every emotion sensation and feelings . And they feel so intense, and home has become my sage place but a place I hate . Hate being at home . With the family . Sad isn’t it ! Hating the safe place . But I’m taking steps to break this comfort zone . So hopefully , the safe place will one day be a nice place again .
Described me exactly . It’s my emotions that scare me . I won’t talk about my current trying to get off anti depressants, but to say it is the fear of the emotions I am getting whilst trying to withdraw that stops me trying to withdraw . Scared of the emotions it brings . Failure , weak etc .