After reading yesterday’s edition of The Anxious Morning, about doing things you love to foster good mental health, you may be thinking that at the moment you don’t remember or don’t even know what you love. When in the grips of anxiety and fear, we can easily lose sight of the things that used to bring us pleasure. When we spend all our time just trying to escape from discomfort, we can lose touch with our values and who we really are.
This is really common. I was in that exact situation. If this is you, don’t get worked up over it. You’re not a lost cause and certainly not broken because you feel this way.
When we are working through the process of recovery, sometimes we have to just start trying things again, even when we have no idea if we’re going to like them or not. That’s not glamorous. This is not a process of creating joy or choosing happiness. Sometimes it’s just a matter of deciding to try painting, or cooking, or watching a film that you otherwise would not have watched. Maybe you can try learning a new language online or calling an old friend that you haven’t spoken to in some time.
Not because these activities will instantly make you happy and shine a heavenly light on your heart. We try different things because only through these experiences do we learn that we CAN try different things again and still be OK. Sometimes just the act of doing that, even when there’s no emotional payoff, is the point. When we’re stuck and acting only based on the need to avoid fear, we start to see life as challenging or even dangerous. So ordering take out from a new restaurant or dusting off the bicycle that you haven’t rode in years is just another recovery step, but they may also lead you to rediscover things you love over time.
If you’re feeling lost, like you don’t know who you are or what you love any more, just start trying things with no expectations and no judgments. This is the way forward because wringing our hands over feeling lost without then picking up the map and following it makes no sense.
82. But I Don't Know What I Love!