Sometimes on The Anxious Morning I’ll try to give you a peek behind the scenes at what it looks like for me to produce my podcast, write books, and create social media content. When I have something to share that I think might be helpful, I’ll do that.
In edition number 67 I went over the differences between therapy and mental health information you find on social media platforms. In that edition I mentioned boundaries. Therapists are trained and encouraged to create clear boundaries that govern the relationship with their clients. Even early on in my graduate training as a therapist, that is being drilled into me on a regular basis. There are quite a few reasons for that including safety of both client and clinician, acknowledgement of an unequal power dynamic in a therapeutic relationship, and a need to ensure that the needs of a client are the guiding force in the relationship. It’s also important for a therapist to take care of their own mental and emotional health so they can be of service to others. Boundaries are important for this reason too.
I am not anyone’s therapist. My current role online as an educator, guide and advocate means I can provide you with information that might help you understand your problem and to understand what you can do to improve your situation. I can cheer for you, encourage you, and create virtual communities that also perform these functions. I can help you feel less alone by sharing my experiences and helping to connect you with others that are going through what you are going through. I am so grateful to be able to perform this function and fill this role.
However, I also have to do my best to operate from an ethical base to ensure that you remain safe in your interactions with me. People asking for help are vulnerable people. People providing that help are by default in a position where they can exploit that vulnerability, even when they don’t intend to. That’s complicated, so we develop ethical standard designed to keep proper distance so that things don’t accidentally go awry. As a social media content creator I am not obligated to adhere to ethical standards because there are none in that context. As a therapist in training I am required to adhere to the ACA code of ethics and to the best of my ability to all pertinent professional standards of conduct. This is in your best interest, and mine.
So what does all this mean?
When I do not respond to your direct messages, this is why. Instant messaging on the Internet is not an appropriate setting to provide anything that even remotely looks like therapy so I just can’t do that. I don’t know you or your situation so I cannot give you personal advice. It would not be safe or proper for me to do that.
When I do not accept your friend requests on Facebook, this is why. I understand that you are inviting me, but nonetheless even in this very loose relationship I am the helper and you are the person asking for help, which means that I must steer clear of forming any kind of personal relationship with you, even if that relationship is electronic. I must keep our interactions confined to the “comments section”.
When you ask about my personal life and want to know why I don’t share more about my family or friends or what I do every day outside the anxiety arena, this is your answer. Friends are engaged in mutual sharing and disclosure at some level. I can’t really create a friendship with you, and in a helper/helping relationship there is no expectation of mutual sharing or disclosure. Believe it or not, this is one of the things that makes your therapist so valuable.
I could go on, but for a while I’ve been meaning to address some of this and this seemed like a good time to do it. I am not trying to be cold or unfriendly and I am not rejecting you. I am not “too important” to interact with you. I’m just trying to do the right thing for everyone by acting safely, professionally, and ethically.
Besides, I’m really not all that interesting anyway. You’re not missing anything.
Have you listened to this week’s episode of The Anxious Truth podcast? Check it out out on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music, or my website and YouTube channel.
84. The Required Boundaries Of A Social Media Creator