If you know my work, you’ve heard me say at least a few dozen times that no anxiety symptom is special, no matter how scary it might be for you. Sometimes people get really angry when I say this, so let me explain why I say it and why it’s important.
Recovery isn’t random. We don’t just try things, hope to get better, and magically get better. The things you hear me talk about all have a basis in theory that’s been studied and refined over many decades. There is truly a method to this madness.
When you work hard to “overcome” a specific symptom by directly addressing that symptom in some special way, you often wind up declaring failure and disaster when you experience another symptom. We see it all the time in the community. This is because tailoring your efforts specifically toward a given symptom kinda misses the the principles of recovery. We don’t learn how to overcome DP or dizziness. We learn how to build a new relationship with discomfort and fear, regardless of the form it takes.
When we learn to read and write, we learn and practice the elements of language. We start to recognize context and meaning. We learn general rules and use heuristics to gain an understanding of the nature of language, then we apply those as we expand our vocabulary and improve our skills.
Imagine if we had to learn every word without having this system to rely on? Imagine declaring that you can no longer speak because you’ve just discovered a word that’s new to you? Imagine running back to your 2nd grade teacher to be taught that word before being able to continue your life?
That would be a very difficult way to live. It’s also a very difficult way to recover, but if you are hoping to find a way to specifically “overcome” your scary symptom of the week, this is what you’re trying to do.
If you are convinced that you must learn to manage your breathing or your heartbeat to get better, you are going to build a very tenuous and somewhat fragile recovery. The minute you experience a new sensation related to anxiety, you will throw your hands in the air and declare that now you must start over. Figuratively speaking, you’ll have to keep running back to your 2nd grade teacher for instructions.
This is why I say that we must treat every symptom the same. In the end, they are. Virtually every recovered person will attest to this after the fact. We learn the principles of recovery, then we apply them across contexts and across symptoms. When we do this, we learn that even that scary symptom that you are sure is “special” … isn’t.
Tomorrow we’ll look at how doctors and getting medically checked out fits into the recovery process.
I’m currently reading Educated, by Tara Westover. Its a memior. Not something I would usually read. It was suggested by a friend and I’m finding it nice departure from textbooks and and psychology stuff.
Sometimes on Tuesday I’ll let you know what I’m currently reading. I read quite a bit on psychology and philosophy, but really you never know what I’ll have in my Kindle or Audible libraries! If you’re on Goodreads and into books, you can follow/friend me over there. Here’s a link to my “currently reading” shelf. I’d love to see what you’re reading and what you recommend.
112. Why Does Drew Always Say That No Symptom Is Special?