I've lived much of my life in risk avoidance, afraid of health issues, travel, change. As I got older, the fear got bigger.
When I was young, I jumped off the "cliffs" at Dickerson's Quarry and rode every ride at any amusement park, fair or carnival I could get to. I also did some gnarly hiking. I suppose one might call all that taking risks. At 33 I quit teaching, my first real job. I quit because I was a lousy teacher and no one was benefitting from my being there, not me, not the kids. I was bored and miserable for years. It wasn't fair to any of us. THAT was a huge risk because I had no savings and lived hand to mouth. But was it really? I was so unhappy that there was no other way to go but to quit and find a completely different kind of job. I didn't even think of it as risky. It was a response to utter desperation!
There have been times when I regretted that move because had I stayed, I would have had great benefits...for life. And that is the ONLY regret I have because I found work that I loved on the other side of teaching.
Many who hate their lives day after fretful day hang in there doing what they do because they're afraid to jump out and try something new. Afraid to risk. Not just talking jobs here but living life as well! Relationships, friendships, living arrangements, family issues, etc. And yes, of course, the risks involved with facing and letting go of anxiety disorder. Choices are being made every day by the brave people in this group and in other places who decide they will take the risk of hiking through anxiety agony into a place where life is wonderfully imperfect and anxiety is no longer in charge. Around the corner, the sublime awaits for the price of a healthy risk.
I GREATLY appreciate you Drew and enjoyed this post. When I'm feeling good, I don't think about anxiety and kind of don't want to think about it. I sometimes reflect and think how you've come to the other side and have dedicated your life to helping others through the process - pretty inspiring! :-)
This hit home for me . I don’t like change/risk and will do what I can to mitigate it while also knowing that it’s inevitable. Going to a physician and he/she says “ok, it all looks good”… I smile and think “are you sure as I walk out the door. Do we have enough saved for retirement ? Despite reassurance from my spouse and our financial planner, I’m still wondering “what if something unexpected comes up that exceeds our emergency fund ? … cue the white knuckles and gnashing of teeth.
Etc, etc, etc……..
I believe, in a nutshell, uncertainty and needing to know FOR SURE is the cause of my anxiety. The Seif/Winston book sure helped with that; however ultimately it only goes so far and the rest points directly back at me and as Lauren Rosen once pointed out eventually you have to “stop digging, drop the shovel and walk away ! Certainly, easier said than done.
I think being in control of life versus setting boundaries, problem solving when issues arise and thinking things through are a bit different though. I don't feel you have to go through life like you are on a rollercoaster! You can have some 'control'. And take some risks too :-)
On the topic of Carl Rogers (who everyone learns about when training to be a therapist) it is all about the client finding the answers. And the thing is, if you do have a client with anxiety (disorder) and you aren't a psychologist or a psychiatrist, the same 'rules' apply (it does here in the UK). They have to find the answers. You can't suddenly launch into 'the method' talk. I wonder how that will work for you :-)
Maybe you could sneakily say as they leave...there are some good books out there ;-)
I've lived much of my life in risk avoidance, afraid of health issues, travel, change. As I got older, the fear got bigger.
When I was young, I jumped off the "cliffs" at Dickerson's Quarry and rode every ride at any amusement park, fair or carnival I could get to. I also did some gnarly hiking. I suppose one might call all that taking risks. At 33 I quit teaching, my first real job. I quit because I was a lousy teacher and no one was benefitting from my being there, not me, not the kids. I was bored and miserable for years. It wasn't fair to any of us. THAT was a huge risk because I had no savings and lived hand to mouth. But was it really? I was so unhappy that there was no other way to go but to quit and find a completely different kind of job. I didn't even think of it as risky. It was a response to utter desperation!
There have been times when I regretted that move because had I stayed, I would have had great benefits...for life. And that is the ONLY regret I have because I found work that I loved on the other side of teaching.
Many who hate their lives day after fretful day hang in there doing what they do because they're afraid to jump out and try something new. Afraid to risk. Not just talking jobs here but living life as well! Relationships, friendships, living arrangements, family issues, etc. And yes, of course, the risks involved with facing and letting go of anxiety disorder. Choices are being made every day by the brave people in this group and in other places who decide they will take the risk of hiking through anxiety agony into a place where life is wonderfully imperfect and anxiety is no longer in charge. Around the corner, the sublime awaits for the price of a healthy risk.
I GREATLY appreciate you Drew and enjoyed this post. When I'm feeling good, I don't think about anxiety and kind of don't want to think about it. I sometimes reflect and think how you've come to the other side and have dedicated your life to helping others through the process - pretty inspiring! :-)
This totally resonated with me and actually made me think about thinking so much :) Thank you for this reminder, Drew - hugely helpful.
This hit home for me . I don’t like change/risk and will do what I can to mitigate it while also knowing that it’s inevitable. Going to a physician and he/she says “ok, it all looks good”… I smile and think “are you sure as I walk out the door. Do we have enough saved for retirement ? Despite reassurance from my spouse and our financial planner, I’m still wondering “what if something unexpected comes up that exceeds our emergency fund ? … cue the white knuckles and gnashing of teeth.
Etc, etc, etc……..
I believe, in a nutshell, uncertainty and needing to know FOR SURE is the cause of my anxiety. The Seif/Winston book sure helped with that; however ultimately it only goes so far and the rest points directly back at me and as Lauren Rosen once pointed out eventually you have to “stop digging, drop the shovel and walk away ! Certainly, easier said than done.
Damn, this human being thing is not for sissies.
Not heard that one before.. ‘Stop digging, drop the shovel and walk away!’.. love it👏🏼
Did I write this????? If not, definite doppleganger here.
I think being in control of life versus setting boundaries, problem solving when issues arise and thinking things through are a bit different though. I don't feel you have to go through life like you are on a rollercoaster! You can have some 'control'. And take some risks too :-)
On the topic of Carl Rogers (who everyone learns about when training to be a therapist) it is all about the client finding the answers. And the thing is, if you do have a client with anxiety (disorder) and you aren't a psychologist or a psychiatrist, the same 'rules' apply (it does here in the UK). They have to find the answers. You can't suddenly launch into 'the method' talk. I wonder how that will work for you :-)
Maybe you could sneakily say as they leave...there are some good books out there ;-)