Drew, it would be so great to have a place for those of us who work "in the field" to discuss some of this stuff! Like, I don't know, a sub-group on FB (is that a thing?). I work in a field that heavily uses a medical model, and I'm so fascinated when I get to talk to those in adjacent fields (like counselor, marriage-family therapists, social workers etc).
Considering we are anxious about so many things, it makes sense to be anxious about recovering.
What we leave out of this is recovery is gradual. We don’t go from being homebound to all out. Interestingly is how we deal with our fear of fear, then our insecurities, lack of confidence (if we have), etc etc. first I was afraid to go to the store, then stand in line, then I had to face my fear of pissing off the deli clerk because I only like cheese when it’s sliced paper thin.
Who knows what happens in the darkest recesses of our minds? None of us do, that's for sure. Adler had a theory. I think it was dead wrong unless one also has an extreme form of masochism. I do believe that we all have things we want to hide, not realize or just not do, consciously and sub-consciously. Some more than others. And I do believe in psychosomatic illness. I've seen it at work in a "friend" I have. She definitely has illnesses but they tend to wax and wane to fit whatever activity or event she wants or doesn't want to attend. I do think some forms of migraine, digestive problems, idiopathic illnesses, etc. are a reaction to stress, regardless of the cause, be it perceived shortcomings, fear of success, conflict resolution, etc.
The brain is CRAZY!!! That's why we're all out here, right? Working to find our way to a more peaceful, content, joyful place to live our crazy lives. I wish you less painful crazy and lots of liberated, fun crazy!
Yes!! After begining to recover some I had the thought that my anxiety disorder is the only " break" I've had in my adult life. I thought if I got better, it would all go back to the way it was before ( was waayyy too much) and I'd crash again. Which that thought in itself was a problem. But I realized that in order to stay recovered I had to not go back to that frazzled, frenzied, f-ed up way of doing things. I had to allow myself to slow down and yes, even face criticism, to take the breaks I need to keep myself sane.
I definitely feel Im slightly afraid to get better for a couple of different reasons. I don’t know what it would be like not to have fear of fear. Im sure amazing but its an unfamiliar feeling.
You know what I like the most about you Drew? You sugar coat nothing and you tell it like it is! It’s what I need to keep me moving forward. Thank you. Love you Big Guy
I believe there is some truth in what Mr Adler describes. When I developed panic disorder I was in a bad place in life. For me the only way to remove myself from this bad place was to disconnect from everything I knew. Sadly, that disconnect became a way of life. I created a protective bubble where I remained for years. Then my mom passed away the bubble burst, I am now left with harsh reality of fending myself. This means no more hiding, no more bubbles and no more excuses.
Well Adler implies that we are somehow responsible for creating that panic disorder at some subconscious level as a way to provide an excuse for becoming who we really want to be. I'm not sure I can get on board with that idea. Can the disordered state become "comfortable" to some extent because it provides a shield? Sure. I just don't agree with the psychodynamic explanation that says decide to create that state for that purpose.
Agreed. I most certainly didn’t wake up one morning with the intent of turning my life inside out. However, for me becoming stuck in the anxiety vortex became more comfortable than doing the hard things. Hence the bubble/shield was my super hero protecting me from the ugliness.
I've been thinking about this a lot. As weird as it may sound anxiety disorder boosted my motivation and brought some order in my life: i used to pospone things and I don't remember having any sort of routine. Recovery process made me more orginized and motivated me to finally try new things. I would view it as some kind of an orginised chaos or a simplified model of the world and it's more or less understandable in terms of connections between your actions and results because a lot of the things that could affect you stay outside of the bubble. So for a while I've been having fear of loosing this motivation ( hello avoidance of pain motivation lol ) or getting back to this unpredictable world :)
We can also look at this from an ACT perspective - it’s called ‘fusion’. We become fused with how we feel because it’s what we know. A bit like ‘the devil you know’. I guess it comes back to fear in the end; fearing the unknown of living without fear. We’re a complex bunch 💜!
Drew, it would be so great to have a place for those of us who work "in the field" to discuss some of this stuff! Like, I don't know, a sub-group on FB (is that a thing?). I work in a field that heavily uses a medical model, and I'm so fascinated when I get to talk to those in adjacent fields (like counselor, marriage-family therapists, social workers etc).
Considering we are anxious about so many things, it makes sense to be anxious about recovering.
What we leave out of this is recovery is gradual. We don’t go from being homebound to all out. Interestingly is how we deal with our fear of fear, then our insecurities, lack of confidence (if we have), etc etc. first I was afraid to go to the store, then stand in line, then I had to face my fear of pissing off the deli clerk because I only like cheese when it’s sliced paper thin.
This is good stuff!
Who knows what happens in the darkest recesses of our minds? None of us do, that's for sure. Adler had a theory. I think it was dead wrong unless one also has an extreme form of masochism. I do believe that we all have things we want to hide, not realize or just not do, consciously and sub-consciously. Some more than others. And I do believe in psychosomatic illness. I've seen it at work in a "friend" I have. She definitely has illnesses but they tend to wax and wane to fit whatever activity or event she wants or doesn't want to attend. I do think some forms of migraine, digestive problems, idiopathic illnesses, etc. are a reaction to stress, regardless of the cause, be it perceived shortcomings, fear of success, conflict resolution, etc.
The brain is CRAZY!!! That's why we're all out here, right? Working to find our way to a more peaceful, content, joyful place to live our crazy lives. I wish you less painful crazy and lots of liberated, fun crazy!
Yes!! After begining to recover some I had the thought that my anxiety disorder is the only " break" I've had in my adult life. I thought if I got better, it would all go back to the way it was before ( was waayyy too much) and I'd crash again. Which that thought in itself was a problem. But I realized that in order to stay recovered I had to not go back to that frazzled, frenzied, f-ed up way of doing things. I had to allow myself to slow down and yes, even face criticism, to take the breaks I need to keep myself sane.
I definitely feel Im slightly afraid to get better for a couple of different reasons. I don’t know what it would be like not to have fear of fear. Im sure amazing but its an unfamiliar feeling.
You know what I like the most about you Drew? You sugar coat nothing and you tell it like it is! It’s what I need to keep me moving forward. Thank you. Love you Big Guy
I believe there is some truth in what Mr Adler describes. When I developed panic disorder I was in a bad place in life. For me the only way to remove myself from this bad place was to disconnect from everything I knew. Sadly, that disconnect became a way of life. I created a protective bubble where I remained for years. Then my mom passed away the bubble burst, I am now left with harsh reality of fending myself. This means no more hiding, no more bubbles and no more excuses.
Well Adler implies that we are somehow responsible for creating that panic disorder at some subconscious level as a way to provide an excuse for becoming who we really want to be. I'm not sure I can get on board with that idea. Can the disordered state become "comfortable" to some extent because it provides a shield? Sure. I just don't agree with the psychodynamic explanation that says decide to create that state for that purpose.
Agreed. I most certainly didn’t wake up one morning with the intent of turning my life inside out. However, for me becoming stuck in the anxiety vortex became more comfortable than doing the hard things. Hence the bubble/shield was my super hero protecting me from the ugliness.
I've been thinking about this a lot. As weird as it may sound anxiety disorder boosted my motivation and brought some order in my life: i used to pospone things and I don't remember having any sort of routine. Recovery process made me more orginized and motivated me to finally try new things. I would view it as some kind of an orginised chaos or a simplified model of the world and it's more or less understandable in terms of connections between your actions and results because a lot of the things that could affect you stay outside of the bubble. So for a while I've been having fear of loosing this motivation ( hello avoidance of pain motivation lol ) or getting back to this unpredictable world :)
YES. I feel this to my core. I have been anxious for so long, that Un-anxious Angie scares the shit out of me (as much as being anxious does).
We can also look at this from an ACT perspective - it’s called ‘fusion’. We become fused with how we feel because it’s what we know. A bit like ‘the devil you know’. I guess it comes back to fear in the end; fearing the unknown of living without fear. We’re a complex bunch 💜!