Perfectly articulated & clarified, and I’ve also heard you say the same on your Monday Instagram podcasts. I think most of us understand both your original intent and current interpretation. That strategy worked for you at the time, and from Rachel’s comments below, certainly works for some others too. It’s also a reflection of how far you yourself may have evolved (even in other ways, such as appreciating how varied other people’s experiences with this disorder are, and that the world of absolutes doesn’t apply to everyone) since choosing to write those particular words. Over the past 2-3 years you’ll have learned so much more about people’s difference experiences, approaches, successes & effective strategies. In my case with social anxiety disorder, I had to apply those words (when I read your books last year) differently as ‘every single day, without fail’ doesn’t, or can’t, necessarily apply to me. My anxiety is embarrassingly triggered during corporate meetings where specific people (colleagues & clients) at a certain seniority or authority level are In attendance. This is both in person and on Teams/Skype, even without video on. It’s absolutely bonkers but has had a huge, adverse lifelong impact. So I can’t necessarily ‘invent’ exposures daily. I have to wait, sometimes with dreaded fear and anticipation, for these meetings to come around every week, or as ad-hoc occurrences. Other meetings I attend, where there are different (perhaps less ‘threatening’) people who don’t have the same impact on my subconscious anxiety response, I’m absolutely fine and nothing is triggered. So it’s a different exposure ‘routine’ for me. Having worked steadfastly to address the root cause or at least the many micro behaviours feeding my amygdala’s severe reaction (which is also wonderfully covered in Drew’s books, including ‘Seven Percent Slower’) I’m very gradually starting to see improvements.. & hopefully will continue moving upwards towards full recovery - I hope! Thanks Drew.
Drew, We forgive you! I think it was so kind and thoughtful of you to write this. When I was doing much worse than I am now, I really did try to make myself go out every single day. It was the right thing to do. I was 100% avoiding going out very OFTEN, whenever I could think of a semi-plausible excuse. I read your books, and your words helped me a lot back then, and I did try to get out every day so as NOT to avoid. I guess I inferred your meaning in a good way, that was very helpful for me. Your mantra was a comfort, because it made me feel like even if I went out for 5 minutes, I had a win that day. When I began to get better, I started to allow myself to miss a day here and there, when I had a severe migraine or any type of severe illness. I allowed myself this care, and then worked twice as hard the next day, which made me feel even better. So, in summary, thank you for the words that you are attempting to rescind. I, for one, am happy that you said (wrote) them! :)
As a registered dietitian, I've seen this concept of causing unintentional harm when working with clients and patients. The idea is you WILL do this, even unintentionally, you make fixes with patients when possible, and learn to do different in the future.
Thank you for clarifying. The last couple weeks I have realized that I am feeling overwhelmed with the idea that if I am “just sitting around”, I am not working hard enough to get better. It wasn’t because you said “no days off”, but because EVERYONE has been telling me that. My therapist, my psychiatrist, my family, and of course Drew. ( the only one I still follow on the socials) I am not working right now, that and driving are the last to overcome. I don’t sit on the couch all day in fear anymore. I cook, I clean, I shop (with a ride), I participate in all family events near or far. I go for a daily walk and even enjoy some craft projects. My issue is I’m home ALL day, alone (which isn’t scary anymore), and if I’m not in constant motion I feel like I’m not trying. That just ends up making me feel sick and overwhelmed. I blame my lightheadedness but I think it has become more than that and it’s a new fear. A fear I won’t fully recover because I am not doing enough. Vicious cycle….
It is impressive that you have taken the time to clarify this issue Drew. We live in a world where people seem so reluctant to change directions on anything. This is refreshing. This will help me a lot. I have often pushed hard doing exposures all day and evening never avoid anything even when it felt like I needed to decompress. Thanks
I have a Horrible flu and have not been able to leave the house, it is painful just to do what I need to do around the house so I’ve actually almost forgot about my anxiety… because I’m so sick in another way…..
When we have anxiety disorders of various sorts and /or depression we may be hiding and avoiding the scary, hard or upsetting things but are we ever really resting and truly relaxing? Mentally, emotionally or physically?
Perfectly articulated & clarified, and I’ve also heard you say the same on your Monday Instagram podcasts. I think most of us understand both your original intent and current interpretation. That strategy worked for you at the time, and from Rachel’s comments below, certainly works for some others too. It’s also a reflection of how far you yourself may have evolved (even in other ways, such as appreciating how varied other people’s experiences with this disorder are, and that the world of absolutes doesn’t apply to everyone) since choosing to write those particular words. Over the past 2-3 years you’ll have learned so much more about people’s difference experiences, approaches, successes & effective strategies. In my case with social anxiety disorder, I had to apply those words (when I read your books last year) differently as ‘every single day, without fail’ doesn’t, or can’t, necessarily apply to me. My anxiety is embarrassingly triggered during corporate meetings where specific people (colleagues & clients) at a certain seniority or authority level are In attendance. This is both in person and on Teams/Skype, even without video on. It’s absolutely bonkers but has had a huge, adverse lifelong impact. So I can’t necessarily ‘invent’ exposures daily. I have to wait, sometimes with dreaded fear and anticipation, for these meetings to come around every week, or as ad-hoc occurrences. Other meetings I attend, where there are different (perhaps less ‘threatening’) people who don’t have the same impact on my subconscious anxiety response, I’m absolutely fine and nothing is triggered. So it’s a different exposure ‘routine’ for me. Having worked steadfastly to address the root cause or at least the many micro behaviours feeding my amygdala’s severe reaction (which is also wonderfully covered in Drew’s books, including ‘Seven Percent Slower’) I’m very gradually starting to see improvements.. & hopefully will continue moving upwards towards full recovery - I hope! Thanks Drew.
Drew, We forgive you! I think it was so kind and thoughtful of you to write this. When I was doing much worse than I am now, I really did try to make myself go out every single day. It was the right thing to do. I was 100% avoiding going out very OFTEN, whenever I could think of a semi-plausible excuse. I read your books, and your words helped me a lot back then, and I did try to get out every day so as NOT to avoid. I guess I inferred your meaning in a good way, that was very helpful for me. Your mantra was a comfort, because it made me feel like even if I went out for 5 minutes, I had a win that day. When I began to get better, I started to allow myself to miss a day here and there, when I had a severe migraine or any type of severe illness. I allowed myself this care, and then worked twice as hard the next day, which made me feel even better. So, in summary, thank you for the words that you are attempting to rescind. I, for one, am happy that you said (wrote) them! :)
As a registered dietitian, I've seen this concept of causing unintentional harm when working with clients and patients. The idea is you WILL do this, even unintentionally, you make fixes with patients when possible, and learn to do different in the future.
Thank you for clarifying. The last couple weeks I have realized that I am feeling overwhelmed with the idea that if I am “just sitting around”, I am not working hard enough to get better. It wasn’t because you said “no days off”, but because EVERYONE has been telling me that. My therapist, my psychiatrist, my family, and of course Drew. ( the only one I still follow on the socials) I am not working right now, that and driving are the last to overcome. I don’t sit on the couch all day in fear anymore. I cook, I clean, I shop (with a ride), I participate in all family events near or far. I go for a daily walk and even enjoy some craft projects. My issue is I’m home ALL day, alone (which isn’t scary anymore), and if I’m not in constant motion I feel like I’m not trying. That just ends up making me feel sick and overwhelmed. I blame my lightheadedness but I think it has become more than that and it’s a new fear. A fear I won’t fully recover because I am not doing enough. Vicious cycle….
It is impressive that you have taken the time to clarify this issue Drew. We live in a world where people seem so reluctant to change directions on anything. This is refreshing. This will help me a lot. I have often pushed hard doing exposures all day and evening never avoid anything even when it felt like I needed to decompress. Thanks
I have a Horrible flu and have not been able to leave the house, it is painful just to do what I need to do around the house so I’ve actually almost forgot about my anxiety… because I’m so sick in another way…..
When we have anxiety disorders of various sorts and /or depression we may be hiding and avoiding the scary, hard or upsetting things but are we ever really resting and truly relaxing? Mentally, emotionally or physically?