Yesterday we talked about observing the process of anxiety rather than evaluating its content. If you missed that email, go back and re-read it. Remember that an archive of all past Anxious Morning emails can be found at https://theanxiousmorning.email.
One very simple yet powerful statement can start us down he path of observing rather than evaluating our anxiety and fear.
“I am thinking.”
“Why am I thinking? Because I am afraid.”
When you pause for a few seconds and consider this simple fact, you will see that in all cases, it is true. When you are anxious and afraid, you will be thinking. In most cases you will be thinking about all kinds of scary things and what-if scenarios. As scary and disturbing as those thoughts may be, however, the fact remains that you are thinking in those moments.
You have heard me say that thoughts are just thoughts, even when they are scary and unwanted. Anxious thoughts - I have said in the past - have two characteristics. They are very strong, but also very wrong. They are not telling you something. They are not accurately predicting some danger or disaster. They are not premonitions, omens, visions, or manifestations of your intuition.
Anxious thoughts are just thoughts. They are thoughts designed to protect you against a threat, which makes them naturally very STRONG. But since no threat actually exists, this also makes them very WRONG.
If we start from this premise then taking a few seconds to pause, then simply observe that you are thinking when anxious and afraid can be a game changer.
“I am thinking”, objectively and accurately describes the process at play. This simple statement does not concern itself with the content of your thoughts nor does it attempt to interpret or interact with them. It merely acknowledges that your brain is doing what brains do ... you are thinking.
It’s OK to think. Thinking is a normal human experience. It certainly has importance in a human life. But while thinking may be important, this does not make it automatically predictive or even accurate in the way it describes reality. Thoughts can feel important while also being wildly inaccurate and twisted. You are not required to interact with, argue with, or otherwise engage with or respond to inaccurate and twisted thoughts.
Why? Because in simplest terms, when you objectively look at what it happening in any given moment, you are just thinking. That is all.
It may take you a while to come to terms with this idea. I know, it feels like the thoughts are so important and that you must take action to stop them, escape them or prove them wrong. Odds are that has not worked very well for you, so take a few minutes today to consider what you’ve read here. Maybe you really are just thinking, and maybe those thoughts are really only just thoughts. If you look at the track record of reality (rather than your imagination and fear), I think you’ll agree that what I’m saying rings true.
I. Am. Thinking.
Step one in observing the process of anxiety.
Tomorrow we’ll take a look at the second observational concept that I found incredibly useful in my recovery. Tomorrow we’ll examine another simple statement:
“I am feeling.”
23. I Am Thinking