Sometimes, the world seems scarier, because it is scarier. As I write this, we are now about a week into the Russian invasion of Ukraine. War is scary. War that involves a country with a giant nuclear stockpile is even scarier.
It’s not just war or military action that can make the world a scary place. Diseases, natural disasters, economic conditions, and shifts in crime dynamics are just a few more of the many ways that the world can really get nasty looking.
For an anxious person, things like this will often “trigger anxiety”. We hear it all the time in our community. Over the last week the topic of the Russia/Ukraine conflict has been front and center in the anxiety and mental health universe just as the pandemic has been for the last two years. Threats elevate anxiety levels. This is not a surprise since threat detection and response is literally the primary function of anxiety even in “normal” people.
But for people like us, it can often go horribly wrong. We are not only afraid and on alert for legitimate reasons, but we find ourselves inordinately focused on the state of fear itself. It takes on a life of its own in many cases. In these situations, the anxious response goes into overdrive. Not only must your brain track current events, but it must also track how you feel. It must create a raging storm of thoughts all designed to analyze how you feel while also desperately seeking certainty that none of the nightmare scenarios about both yourself and the war will come true.
What was once one full time job for your anxious brain now becomes two full time jobs. This creates some exceptionally bad feelings, and can quickly become mentally, emotionally, and even physically exhausting.
What we can we do on days like this? The first thing we can do is to remind ourselves of some basic facts regarding anxiety itself:
☕ Being afraid in these situations does not mean being broken.
☕ Being afraid in these situations does not mean you can’t get better or have gone back to square one.
☕ Being anxious in these situations is not disordered anxiety - its normal anxiety based on real external factors.
☕ Now try asking yourself a question. “Are you more afraid of what’s happening in Ukraine, or are you more afraid of how you feel about what’s happening in Ukraine? “
These are trying times to navigate. The closer you are to the conflict both socially and geographically, the more trying it is. There is no doubt about that. But you CAN navigate. The kindest thing you can do for yourself is to remain aware of the line between being afraid (normal), and being afraid of being afraid (not required). It’s that second part that winds up turning worries into a torrent of “what ifs” and nightmare scenarios that do not yet - and may never - exist.
Try going back to two basic statements:
I am feeling. Why am I feeling? Because there is a war going on and that’s scary for everyone. Why am I feeling even MORE than usual? Because I also see my own state as a threat so my body reacts to that too.
I am thinking. Why am I thinking? Because there is a war going on and its normal to consider possible outcomes of that war. Why am I thinking SO MUCH? Because my over sensitized brain thinks it needs to find absolute certainty not only about the war, but about the fact that I am thinking and feeling.
Being able to create a little space between scary events and being afraid of your own body and mind can help you see your state in a more objective light. When you can achieve that, you can start to see that compulsive thinking is not a solution to anything at all. You can take that vision, then do your best to begin engaging with life again. We’re are all engaging in life while in an increased state of uncertainty right now.
It’s OK to be afraid and concerned right now. We all are. But you are not at the mercy of your anxious brain. You can assert yourself to make some space and show yourself to be capable of handling this like you always handle everything else.
To wrap things up, I will say we really need ALL of this to be over sooner rather than later. It’s been a pretty trying couple of years, all coming hot on the heels of a pretty trying decade or so. We all kinda deserve a break, don’t we?
Hey it’s Monday and that means that today at 2 PM Eastern I’ll do my “Recovery Monday” livestream on YouTube, Facebook, and Twitter. Come join in!
46. When The World Seems Scarier