Today on The Anxious Morning we’re going to continue our discussion of hope by getting a little philosophical. Hey, we do this every morning. We have time to explore ideas that make us think now and then!
This is where Nietzsche asked us to look beyond the good and evil espoused by any belief system. He wanted us to accept life and death for what they are, warts and all. That means that we stop avoiding the uncomfortable truth of death and insignificance. Once we do that, we can go about focusing on the amazingness of all that’s in front of us now, rather than concerning ourselves with hope. Nietzsche even had a name for this embrace-the-void approach: he called it amor fati, which translates to “love one’s fate”. - Mark Manson, Everything Is F*cked
Yesterday we kinda dissed hope a little by saying that hope is not a recovery plan. Today, we call in Friedrich Nietzsche to beat up on hope just a little more. Nietzsche was talking in much broader terms beyond simply anxiety recovery, but we can use his words nonetheless.
The idea that we should hope for better days, better things, better feelings, and a better life suggests that the days, things, feelings and life we have right now are not enough. More accurately in the case of the anxiety community, they are likely “too much”. As anxiety sufferers, we tend not to hope for more, but for less. We feel overwhelmed by how we feel and declare that we cannot handle it.
We hope for better days in the form of less anxiety, less fear, and less emotion. We hope for serenity and a life of tranquility without fear.
Is this really productive? Do we need to hope for better? When we long for change in the form of more “handleable” circumstances, we are essentially throwing in the towel. We are acting based on the assumption that we cannot handle anxiety and irrational fear. But is this really true?
When we are fearful of outcomes that do not ever happen based on thoughts that though strong exist only in our minds, are we really overmatched? To be sure, when we are being abused, oppressed, assaulted, or otherwise truly harmed nobody would blame us for hoping for a better life. But when our perceived enemy lies within, do we need to hope the conflict away? Would it not be more productive on the long term to discover our true strengths and abilities to handle what we have been declaring un-handleable?
If you are reading this right now, then it is indisputable that you have in fact handled every anxious, fearful or distressing situation you have ever been in. You certainly do not like what it feels like when you do that, but you ARE handling it. Anxiety and fear never truly take you down, yet you declare that they do. You are still standing and always have been.
Think about this. You are bruised, but not broken. You are discouraged, but never defeated. Is this a time to wave the white flag and call on hope to transport you to calmer seas? Or would you be better served by putting hope on the back burner while turn your attention to learning the lessons that reality is trying to teach you about how capable you really are.
I’m not telling you to abandon all hope forever. I’m not that guy. But if nothing else today, I’d like you to really think about why it might be a better idea to stop hoping for a better life, and start seeing what you have in front of you already. You do not have a golden palace and unlimited comforts, but what you do have is competency, resilience, and the ability to learn and adapt.
I’d take those over hope any day. But that’s just me.
What about you?
Tomorrow we’ll use a little more modern philosophy to teach us another lesson about recovery.
Have you listened to this week’s episode of The Anxious Truth podcast? Check it out out on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music, or my website and YouTube channel.
49. How Hoping Can Become An Obstacle