I’m having a bit of fun with philosophy so to end the week, let’s invoke Immanuel Kant at a very basic level. More specifically, let’s talk about Kant’s views of transactional behavior - behavior designed to get something in return or to create a specific outcome.
Kant wrote:
“Act that you use humanity, whether in your own person or in the person of any other, always at the same time as an end, never merely as a means.”
Kant was telling us that we should not behave in transactional ways. In terms of day to day living, just be nice to people because its nice to be nice. In Kant’s view, your niceness should not be a way to get them to be nice to you, or to provide anything in particular in return. Non-transactional behavior exists for its own sake and purpose. It is not intended to create any particular outcome or condition.
How can we apply this to the process of anxiety recovery?
As of this writing (February of 2022) I’ve been speaking and writing more about focusing on the process of recovery rather than the desired outcomes of recovery. Being process focused is really helpful. It allows us to do our recovery work and meet our challenges without demanding specific outcomes in the form of changing how we feel. Process focused recovery allows us to see each challenge as a lesson that teaches us something that we need to know in order to move forward toward our desired outcomes.
What does that look like? Here’s one fast example of how to be process focused in recovery.
Do your exposure work today not so that you will feel better, but because the exposure is just a thing that has to be done as part of getting better. Let the experience stand on its own. Let it have its own merits in the form of lessons that you learn as part of changing your relationship with anxiety and fear. Do not demand a specific outcome or judge the resulting outcome. Just do the exposure for its own sake.
Wait. What just happened? It kinda looks like we’ve described a non-transactional approach to recovery. I never met the man - because I’m not 270 years old - but I’m guessing Kant would be super proud of us right about now.
This might all sound a bit nerdy, but the point is simply to remind us that when we approach our recovery as a series of transactions, we can easily wind up frustrated and convinced that we cannot get better. We should not see our recovery work, or the challenges life gives us as opportunities to get something in exchange for doing something, but rather as experiences with their own purposes. Allow them to play out as they play out, and take what you can from each experience without demanding that you should feel or not feel a certain way as a result. Things tend to go more smoothly when we do it this way, even when doing it this way seems a bit odd at first, and is completely counter-intuitive.
Is anything about recovery intuitive?
Are you transactional or non-transactional in your recovery? Are you outcome focused, or process focused? If you have not listened to episode 196 of The Anxious Truth, maybe take 20 minutes to do that today. It will help you see the process/non-transactional concept in greater detail.
We’ll start next week with a little chat about how I learned to recognize stress in my life.
And what does your anxiety do? It does not empty to-morrow, brother, of its sorrows; but, ah! it empties to-day of its strength. - Ian MacLaren
Every Friday I’ll share one of my favorite quotes. They’ll often have direct application in recovery, but sometimes they’re just generally funny, inspiring, or thought-provoking. I hope you enjoy them.
50. What Is Non-Transactional Recovery?