One of the questions I am asked most often is, “What does being recovered look and feel like?”
I will take some time now and then to address that. I can share what recovery feels like to me, and how my recovery is still impacting my life on a daily basis.
People seem to want to know if I still get anxious, or if I experience panic now. The answer to both is, yes. I can have anxious moments, or even an anxious day now and then. I am human. That is part of being alive. I might even experience a panic attack once or twice a year. I never guarantee or promise that recovery means that you will be anxiety or even panic free forever. That’s not realistic. What I can tell you is that anxiety and panic no longer matter to me, so when they do show up, they are non-events and not worthy of declaring disaster, setback, or emergency.
Having built this new relationship with anxiety and fear means that I have had to come to grips with the fact that life will include “normal” anxiety and stress. Recovery means that I put anxiety back into its intended place in my life, so what does that look like?
I can tell you that for me, it means that I have learned to be aware of stress in all its forms. There is emotional stress, mental stress, and even physical stress. These are all part of life. Negative situations can be stressors - we all know this. But there is even such a thing as positive stress! Even good things can place demands on us, enjoyable and exciting though they may be.
As a recovered person, I take time to back up and examine the stressors in my life so that I can respond appropriately. Not to squash or eliminate stress completely, but to ensure that I do not let things get out of hand. I can take time to reflect on what’s happening from an objective point of view without being carried away by the emotions that come with stress and anxiety. I acknowledge that life is demanding at times. I allow the emotions that arise as a result. I plan accordingly to handle what needs to be handled while also making sure that I am disconnecting, disengaging, and making time for healthy activities that I enjoy and that provide balance in my life.
Sometimes I’m really good at this. Sometimes not so good. When I’m less than diligent, or when I am pushing myself, I am more likely to let the load get a tad too heavy. When that happens, anxiety might pop up to remind me that I am human and that I need to take care of myself. It doesn’t pop up to stalk me, terrify me, or trap me in a corner. I see it for what it is. A signal. A normal reaction that I can use to inform healthy choices and decisions. As a fully recovered person, my relationship with stress, anxiety and fear means that these things are not my enemies. They are guideposts. Sometimes they are teachers. They do not ruin my life. They are simply part of my life and sometimes they wind up being informative or even useful in informing positive changes that help me going forward.
Learning to see anxiety for what it is, without hitting the panic button, is a game changer that serves me well every day and will continue to do so.
I have exciting news to share: You can now read The Anxious Morning in the new Substack app for iPhone.
With the app, you’ll have a dedicated Inbox for my Newsletter and any others you subscribe to. New posts will never get lost in your email filters, or stuck in spam. Longer posts will never cut-off by your email app. Comments and rich media will all work seamlessly. Overall, it’s a big upgrade to the reading experience.
The Substack app is currently available for iOS. If you don’t have an Apple device, you can join the Android waitlist here.
Hey it’s Monday and that means that today at 2 PM Eastern I’ll do my “Recovery Monday” livestream on YouTube, Facebook, and Twitter. Come join in!
51. Post Anxiety Recovery Tips: Recognizing Stress